50 Successful Harvard Application Essays
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150 successful harvard application essays
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SAAC A LTER Better Than Band Camp “This one time, at flute camp—” “Wait, what?” Yes, I said flute camp. It’s a week in Carmel Valley, California, full of amazing and musically engaging experiences for middle and high school age flutists— I sound like an advertisement. Let’s try again. It’s the best week of my summer. Every year. For one week every year, I get to spend all my time being an unrestrained flute nerd with awesome friends who are just as flute nerdy. (Or, if they’re not, they won’t judge me for being one.) Every single person there knows the Chaminade Concertino, a “flute anthem” that I could never discuss with any of my other friends without them looking at me like I was crazy. At flute camp, we play hard and … play harder. We spend essentially all of our waking hours playing or practicing flute, watching performances, and listening to flute-related seminars. One such seminar was called “Tricks from Harry Flotter: Ridikkulus Scales!” Yeah, it’s that cool. It sounds boring, but it literally never gets old, in part because I get to share all of it with some of my closest friends in the world. In addition to the scheduled activities, we always gather during our breaks to play card games (for years, we’ve been unable to stop playing “Five Crowns”), eat, or just talk about our lives (flutists tend to be drama queens, so this is always enjoyable). The isolated environment and our shared passion unite us and create lasting bonds; I stay in contact with my flute camp friends all year, no matter how far away they live. Flute camp saved me. No, really. Before I first attended in 2009, playing the flute was an activity that was slowly drifting toward the periphery of my busy life; I practiced occasionally and indifferently. I left my first camp feeling more inspired than ever before—inspired to become a better musician and flutist, inspired to make flute a bigger part of my life. Hearing other flute players and learning about flute nonstop for a week straight always leave me with innumerable ideas about how to improve my own playing: What if I try out a faster vibrato like Catherine? How can I make my sound more like Noah’s? In addition, the seminars about how to improve so many different aspects of flute playing always make me feel empowered, by giving me the willpower and the skills to take my playing up a notch (flute pun intended). Now, playing the flute is my greatest extracurricular passion. It’s quite literally an addiction. I need my flute “fix,” or else I fall into periods of ennui and boredom with my school routine. Practicing flute is my way of de-stressing, of expressing myself, of having fun. There are simply not enough hours in the day for me to play flute as much as I want. Flute camp taught me how to put my all into something I love, a lesson I have applied to all areas of my life; I now understand how to truly delve into a topic or an activity simply because it makes me happy. That one time at flute camp changed my life. REVIEW A tongue-in-cheek tone is not a bad strategy for this kind of essay. He describes a relatively common experience (and one easily mocked) in a memorable way that also demonstrates his commitment and enthusiasm to that particular activity. The essay, and his personality as the flute kid, instantly stands out to the admissions committee. The defining levity of the piece also serves as a foil for the heartfelt and serious ending. He does not take himself too seriously but still appreciates the relatively serious lessons he has learned from the experience. Through humor, he essentially turns the potentially weak point of his essay into its strength. Unfortunately, his attempts at humor overwhelm the essay to the point of distraction. Jokes that first present themselves as novel quickly become overdone. Isaac’s essay would have significantly benefited from even a slight moderation in tone. His last two sentences are very good. They place the subject of his essay in relation to his individual personality very well and end on an inspirational note. He appreciates a particular opportunity and recognizes how it has changed him as a person. It’s just that those two sentences are only two sentences. Had he limited his use of jokes more strategically and explained the significance of the experience earlier, it would be a truly great essay, a charming and heartfelt piece on the importance of finding and developing your passion. —Raul P. Quintana |
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