50 Successful Harvard Application Essays

L
ESLIE
O
JEABURU
Nerves of Steel
My bladder felt as though it would burst right out of my body and yet my mouth burned with an
unquenchable thirst. I knew there could be only one grim and damp solution, but I could do nothing
about it. I was stuck in a chair, awaiting my turn on the stage and my mind, body, and sanity were
being held captive by my nerves. My legs were shaking as though I were in the snow with only my
boxers on. My belly was in a Gordian knot and I could feel the telltale wetness that tends to form
under my armpits in times like these. I was in no shape to give a speech to a room full of parents but
there I was, violently clutching my papers at the side of the auditorium, awaiting my name to be called
in a few seconds.
I took a deep breath. It wasn’t as if this was my first time in front of a crowd. In fact, as student
body president, I had gotten quite used to standing in front of hundreds of teens my age, giving
announcements, transforming into Kanye West and President Obama in skits, and watching waves of
laughter sweep through the entire room. Yet I knew this time it was very different. My audience was
not filled with the young and often quick to laugh faces of teenagers but rather the hardened,
mustached, and powdered ones of adults.
“Please welcome our student speaker … Leslie Ojeaburu … to the stage!” The voice jolted me
from my thoughts and almost mechanically I rose from my chair. A huge awkward grin spread across
my face as the sounds of Chopin’s Funeral March echoed through my mind, but somehow I realized
that I had to do what any good president would. I had to speak confidently and pray that no one notices
the quaking of my hands.
Speaking has always been one of my favorite pastimes and each new speech I give … one of my
greatest victories. You see my nerves, like that of many before me, are not made of steel. They buckle
and scream under the assault of any strange, uncomfortable, or challenging moment in my life. Yet it
was these very imperfections that forced me to work on public speaking, drove me to run for ASB
offices, and taught me to throw myself headfirst into any situation that life may deal.
Indeed we all experience fears and anxieties in similar ways. We all have the same cold sweats,
overactive bladders, and feelings of impending doom. Still, what truly distinguishes one from another
is how fervently we embrace these fears as catalysts and not roadblocks to our goals.
I may not know where my public speaking will take me in life, but I do know that wherever I go
my nerves will surely follow. Acting as constant reminders that there is always more I can improve
on and always a new challenge waiting to be conquered.

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REVIEW
It definitely takes guts to start a college essay by talking about your bladder. In the case of Leslie’s
essay, this risky move paid off: Personal statements without any foibles or humility read as
unrealistic, unappealing ego boosts. Leslie’s essay, on the other hand, most certainly does not portray
its author as perfect, and by reveling in his own flaws instead of refusing to acknowledge them, the
author evinces a charmingly self-effacing sense of humor, as well as a willingness to tackle
challenges. Anyone who has ever delivered a speech with a quavering voice and a cold sweat running
down their brow can easily relate to his detailed descriptions of his nervousness. Leslie does not try
to cast himself as fearless, but rather as able to go on despite his fear—as a result, his essay has a
sense of humor and believability.
But though he tells an interesting story, it leaves some questions unanswered. What is Leslie
speaking about? Is the topic itself important, or is the experience his focus? Though he closes by
explaining that overcoming this fear is his goal, the essay begs for answers to these questions and
would be improved if he were able to deliver them.
Despite this blip, Leslie succeeds in crafting a winning personal statement that projects likability,
determination, and ambition to overcome challenges to succeed, all without making Leslie come off
as egotistical or cocky. His humorous and engaging essay serves its purpose well.
—Erica X. Eisen

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