Articles for ielts the dangers of being over-confident

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articles_for_IELTS articles_for_IELTS 
Is having a favourite child really a bad thing? 
Joanna knew she had a favourite child from the moment her second son was 
born. The Kent, UK-based mum says she loves both of her children, but her youngest 
child just “gets” her in a way that her first-born doesn’t. When Joanna’s first baby 
was delivered, he was rushed away from her due to a health concern, and she 
couldn’t see him for 24 hours. Missing this valuable bonding period was, she 
believes, the start of a long-lasting preference for her second son, whom she was 
able to spend time with immediately after he was born. “To sum our relationships 
up: I have to make an appointment to speak to my eldest,” says Joanna, whose full 
name is being withheld to protect her children. “With my youngest, I could call him 
at 0230 and he’d drive miles to meet me. My youngest is the nicest guy on the planet. 
He’s caring, generous, courteous and friendly. He’s the kind of person who would 
help anyone out.”
Though she battled her feelings for years, Joanna says now she’s in a place of 
acceptance. “I could write a book on why I love one more than the other,” she says. 
“It’s been hard, but I haven’t got any guilt.” Unlike Joanna, most parents’ 
favouritism is subtle and goes undiscussed. Having a favourite child might be the 
greatest taboo of parenthood, yet research shows that the majority of parents do 
indeed have a favourite. With plenty of evidence to suggest that being the least-
favoured child can fundamentally shape the personality and lead to intense sibling 
rivalries, it’s no wonder that parents might worry about letting their preferences slip. 
Yet research also shows that most kids can’t tell who their parents’ favourite child 
really is. The real issue, then, is how parents manage their children’s perception of 
favouritism. 
“Not every parent has a favourite child, but many do,” says Jessica Griffin, an 
associate professor of psychiatry and paediatrics at the University of Massachusetts 
Medical School, US. “Data suggests that mothers, in particular, show favouritism to 
children who have similar values to them and that engage more with family, over 
qualities such as being highly ambitious or career driven.” Regardless of the reason, 
some research shows many parents almost certainly do have favourites – whether 
they admit to it or not. In one study, up to 74% of mothers and 70% of fathers in the 
UK have been shown to exhibit preferential treatment towards one child. Yet for 
most, the topic remains off-limits. In other research, when parents were surveyed, 

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just 10% admitted to having a favourite child, suggesting that for most mothers and 
fathers, feelings of favouritism remain a tightly held family secret. 
When parents do admit to having a preferred child, research suggests birth 
order plays an important part in who they favour. According to the same YouGov 
survey, parents who admitted having a favourite child showed an overwhelming 
preference towards the baby of the family, with 62% of parents who have two 
children opting for their youngest. Forty-three percent of parents with three or more 
children prefer their last-born, with a third selecting a middle child and just 19% 
leaning towards their eldest. Dr Vijayeti Sinh is a clinical psychologist at Mount 
Sinai Hospital in New York City. She says that a favouritism towards a youngest 
child is often to do with the social and emotional skills associated with birth order – 
as parents gain more practice in child-rearing, they have a better idea of how they 
want to shape their offspring’s childhood, and what attributes are most important to 
pass on. Parents tend to favour a child that is most like them, reminds them of 
themselves, or represents what they view as a success of parenting,” she says. 
“Younger children are most likely to have been raised by a parent who, over time 
and experience, is more confident and skilled in their child-raising.”
Though parents do often have a favourite, many are racked with guilt, 
knowing that showing a preference will have a long-lasting impact on their child’s 
sense of self-worth. The concern is not entirely unfounded. “Children who grow up 
in families where they feel that they are treated unfairly may experience a deep sense 
of unworthiness,” says Sinh. “They might feel that they are unlovable in some way, 
or do not possess the special traits and characteristics needed to be loved by others. 
Feeling like the black sheep of the family can lead to fears and insecurities – children 
might become self-protective and try to be overly nice and agreeable around others.” 
But for most parents, their worries are misplaced. Evidence suggests that unless 
preferential treatment is very extreme, most children are not impacted by being the 
least favourite child. “Sometimes parents are blatantly obvious in their 
demonstration of love and affection,” says Sinh. “But when parents are mindful and 
thoughtful and do their best to ensure that any feelings of closeness or likeability 
factor aren’t plain and clear, then children don’t feel unworthy of their parents’ love 
and support.” In fact, in most cases children might not even know that their parents 
prefer their sibling in the first place. In one study, when people who stated that their 
parents had a favourite child were probed, a staggering four out of five claimed that 
their sibling was favoured over them – a seemingly improbable statistic. Other 
studies have shown that children incorrectly identify who the favourite child is more 

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than 60% of the time. Of course, it’s possible that parents are doing a much better 
job of disguising their preferences than you would expect. Or – as Griffin suggests 
– we’re simply very bad at guessing who the favourite child really is.