Clients‟ experience of counselling within a narrative framework
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Beauty and the Beast ( PDFDrive )
148 CHAPTER SIX ANALYSIS OF MAIN STUDY 6.1 Introduction This chapter will tell the story of the main study analysis, including the difficult beginning, how the journals were interpreted and how these interpretations influenced the choice of category chosen for each journal entry. In the pilot study a process of categorising grew from the analysis, from repetitive reading and organising the data as it was continually questioned and as I lived (Denzin and Lincoln 1998) the fluidity of the process. Meaning, suggested by the participants‟ language influenced the choice of categories, as did the theoretical language already familiar to me (Strauss and Corbin 1990). The analysis of the main study began in the same way. However more attention was given to the analysis of the text and this eventually helped with finding the category for each journal entry. Due to a personal bereavement, I seemed to be more aware of loss and pain in the journals. Grieving brought opposition into focus in my life again, so this must have influenced the analysis of the journals. But there were also times when I struggled to work, to think at all and this also impacted on the analysis. As Etherington suggests qualitative research may create the potential for the personal growth of the researcher “because we write of ourselves in the process” (Etherington 2001; 119). It seems that as I grew through my grief, this impacted on the analysis making me more aware of loss in the narratives. 6.2 A difficult beginning The analysis of the main study journals felt different to the first study in that the length of time the journals covered ranged from twenty five to fifty three weeks rather than the fifteen weeks of 149 the pilot study. The participants were asked to keep a journal for up to forty weeks but were also allowed to use their own discretion, or the ending of their counselling, to decide when to finish the journal. This enabled the participant‟s own autonomy to remain part of the work. At the start of the analysis I felt lost and rather overwhelmed by the quantity of the narrative to be worked with. There was also a sense of being out of touch with the construct that emerged from the pilot study as if I was unable to hold onto what had already emerged. My sense of conviction about the categories seemed lost. It was as if the work was too enormous for me to contain or even think about so there was an immense struggle to begin the main analysis. It was this inability to think about the work that helped me to make the decision to interpret the texts without thinking about categorizing. In this way it was possible to continue with the work rather than becoming completely stuck. Each of the initial interpretations travelled through many drafts as I allowed myself to become familiar with them. Naming the journals from their context happened as part of this process as names that seemed to fit each participant arose from the narratives, these were: Alice; Little Girl; Who Am I; Turned On; Wriggling Fish. The names and story of each journal will be addressed in chapter 7. Only when each journal had been analysed did the search for categories begin and I found that there was an interaction between these two tasks as together they enabled a closer intimacy with the text. By interpreting the narrative without thinking about categories there was a greater knowledge and understanding of the texts before the categorizing took place. 6.3 Interpreting the journals Firstly the journals were read and typed out, keeping as close to how they were presented as possible. Both lower, and upper case lettering, speech marks and any other symbols were 150 reproduced as accurately as possible. For example Wriggling fish in week thirty writes: Extract 16 To illustrate markings copied from the original texts. Line 1. Sunshine, feel „lighter‟. Line 2. Thoughts of case study / client Line 3. My hooks, client hooks, 8 !! yrs. Line 4. Manipulation - weaving in & out. Line 5. A spider‟s web, the rings, sticky. Line 6. The web, me the barrier me Line 7. = NO WONDER STUCK !!! Line 8. Circle, hands held tight !! Line 9. White sculpture - female generations mine. Line 10. Stones - role reversal - chaos! Line 11.Want to feel support of ancestors! The amount of exclamation marks, the drawing of a spider‟s web, upper case lettering and other symbols add to the impact of the entry. This is then taken account of in the relevant parts of the analysis as seen below: Extract 17. From the analysis, to illustrate the impact of symbols, punctuation and varied letting on the interpretation of the text. She provides the image of a spider‟s web (line 5) with sticky rings. She draws an arrow to the centre of the spider‟s web and labels this as „me‟, as if she is caught in the centre of the web. She then draws a barrier and labels this „me‟. The equal signs seem to emphasize that these are two representations of her, as if she is both stuck in the web and trapped behind the barrier that she erects. She starts line 7 with another equals sign as if she realizes that this combination of web and barrier make her very stuck (line 7). She also writes this line in capitals again as if to draw the enormity of the revelation for herself. It also feels important that this enormity is noticed by me as the reader. Line 8 gives the image of hands, possibly hers, held in a tight circle, and it seems possible that this may be the white sculpture of the female generations (line 9) of her 151 family that she has inherited. The colour white hints at purity, and maybe she is concerned about damaging that purity. Perhaps the stones (line 10) represent something that cannot be moved, yet they seem to make her think of role reversal (line10) and the chaos that could be caused by this. Exclamation marks at the end of some lines seem to emphasize the importance of all these statements. She ends with wanting to feel the support of ancestors (line 11) as if there is some fear that she may not feel their support if she is too different and reverses her roles. It seems there could be a desire to escape manipulation, escape the sticky spider‟s web and the barriers that hold her within the tight circle of purity. All the elements in this entry add to the information about the participant‟s internal world as she recognizes how stuck she has been. They image the way she sees herself and this demonstrates the importance of copying the journals as accurately as possible. In Little Girl the whole journal is written in upper case lettering. It gives a stark feel to the writing. It also gives a sense of how thought out each entry was and seems to illustrate the writer‟s pain at the same time. In week fifteen she writes: Extract18. To illustrate the starkness of upper case lettering. Line 1. SHE HAD GONE Line 2. LONG BEFORE Line 3. I LOST HER Line 4. SHE HAD GONE The impact of these few words seems enhanced by the upper case lettering. It is as if she is learning to howl through her words as I did following trauma. The starkness of her loss seems to be laid bare by the way she writes out the words. This is reflected in the analysis: 152 Extract 19. To illustrate the interpretation of Little Girl‟s journal. An image of unspeakable emptiness is created in these four lines. It seems that the client may be realizing the loss of her mother in a new way, as if she is feeling, even seeing, the grief of all she missed (week 14). Somehow her mother was lost to her even before she died. Perhaps there is also some realization that the client had lost herself, long before she had felt that she had a self to lose. There is a huge sadness wrapped up in these few words. This entry seems to hold a monolith of feelings. There is so much loss that more words would cover it up, hide the reality of how enormous this had been, and is for her. Perhaps this is why the client‟s style of writing is so precise, for hidden in the order of so few words, is the chaos of loss and trauma. Initially the journals were interpreted from a linguistic/poetic and counselling standpoint in order to find the meanings and feelings both hidden and made clear in the words and symbols. During the interpretation of the first journal five sets of expression emerged which formed a basis for discovering meaning and understanding each journal. This kept a similarity of process within the work and provided a starting point for each analysis. These sets and their functions were: 1. Images: imaging the client‟s present condition 2. Questions: the client wondering what to do next 3. Exhortations to self: the client telling herself what to do 4. Action + reflection: the client recounting an action and reflecting upon it 5. Adjectives: describing the client‟s present condition Download 1.47 Mb. Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
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