Expecting to Die


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expecting to die lisa jackson

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T
he woman on the beach slowly came to consciousness, the frigid water sliding
up and over her, then receding. Sand beneath her fingers. She curled her nails
into it, trying to focus, trying to wake up. She needed to remember something.
Get up or you’ll die.
Apart from her fingers, she couldn’t move. Everything was weighted down.
She couldn’t even open her eyes . . . but . . . yes . . . one sand-crusted lid lifted. It
was dark out. She was on a beach. And there was something just there . . . beside
her on the beach . . . hunched.
She worked to open both eyes and looked right into—
The wide open blue eyes of a dead man.
She shrieked, but it came out as a whimper, and then the next wave hit and it
was bigger, lifting her up, slamming her into the dead man, his arm tussling with
hers until they tumbled back into the surf.
I can’t . . . she thought.
And then the world faded to black.
* * *
Sam Ford rattled his truck along the jetty, scanning the western horizon. The
ocean was gray today, restless under a low July sun. A line of smoke could still
be seen, drifting above the water the same color as the sand. A boat had caught
fire and sank. Was it his brother’s boat? Was she on it? Sam was still waiting to
hear.
The back of his throat was gritty and raw, as if he’d been in the way of the
smoke and yet it was a mile from shore. He threw the truck into park and
climbed out, grabbing his binoculars. The coast guard helicopter was hovering
near the boat on a northwest trajectory from where Sam stood.
The text from Joe ran across his mind, like it had a thousand times since he’d
received it: Meet me at my dock at noon.
Sam had been surprised by the message. He and Joe . . . the rift between them
had grown over the years. They didn’t speak any longer, much. Their father had
gone to his grave angry that his two sons couldn’t reconcile; their mother resided
in an apartment in Seaside with a man who would soon be their stepfather. She’d
asked that both Joe and Sam come to the wedding and Sam had declined. He
didn’t like the man his mother was marrying, Frank Tamaway, but that was only
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