Feedback “pick

The bar chart gives information about the quantity of different films shot in five countries over these consecutive years: 2007,2008, and 2009.
Overall, it is clear that countries A released significantly higher number of films, with country B a close second. While the number of films produced in countries B, C, and E showed an upward trend over the timeframe given, the reverse was true for countries A and D.
As for the increases, the number of films produced by country B begun with 50 in the initial year. After a marked increase in the following year, this figure reached a pick of almost 70 in the year of 2009. On the contrary, a lot fewer number of films were produced in countries C and E, making up almost 10 in the first year. However, the former’s film production output had doubled to finish at roughly 18 by 2009 while the latter’s changed slightly by only about 2 units.
Looking at the remaining categories, over the period, country A saw its film production fall. Before hitting the chart low of 80 in 2009, its figure stood at over 88 in the first two years. With respect to country D, its production of films started with roughly 15 in the first year, after which it had declined to 10 to finish at approximately 13 by the final year.

FEEDBACK

1. 
   “pick” should be “peak”.
   

2. 
   “a lot fewer number” should be “a significantly lower number”.
   

SCORE BREAKDOWN
Task Achievement:
Your report effectively presents an overview of the information provided in the bar chart. You accurately describe the quantity of films shot in different countries over three years and highlight the trends observed. Your report covers the main features of the chart and provides an overall summary. The information is clear and well-organized. However, it would be helpful to provide specific details or numbers for each country’s film production to enhance the accuracy and completeness of your analysis.
Score: 7

Coherence and Cohesion:

Your report is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction and a logical flow of information. You use cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to connect your ideas and create coherence. However, there are a few instances where the sentence structure could be improved for better clarity and readability. Additionally, some sentence transitions could be smoother and more varied to enhance the overall cohesion of the report.
Score: 7

Lexical Resource:

Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, and you demonstrate an understanding of key terms related to the topic. You effectively use a range of vocabulary to describe the data, such as “quantity,” “released,” “upward trend,” “doubled,” and “declined.” However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved for precision and accuracy. Additionally, incorporating more specific and varied vocabulary related to the film industry and production would enhance the richness of your language.
Score: (-)7

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:

Your report shows a good command of grammar, with accurate sentence structures and a variety of sentence types. There are a few minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies in verb tenses, such as “begun” instead of “began” and “pick” instead of “peak.” Additionally, some sentences could be rephrased or revised for better clarity and accuracy. Overall, your use of grammar is effective and supports the coherence of your writing.
Score: 7
Overall, the estimated score for your report would be around (-)7.


REWRITTEN
The given bar chart provides information on the quantity of films produced in five countries over the consecutive years of 2007, 2008, and 2009.

In general, it is evident that country A had the highest number of films released, followed closely by country B. While the film production in countries B, C, and E exhibited an upward trend during the given time period, the opposite was observed for countries A and D.

Starting with country B, the number of films produced began at 50 in the initial year. After a significant increase in the following year, this figure reached a peak of nearly 70 in 2009. In contrast, countries C and E had considerably fewer films produced, totaling around 10 in the first year. However, country C’s film production output doubled, reaching approximately 18 by 2009, while country E experienced a slight increase of only about 2 units.

Regarding the remaining categories, country A witnessed a decline in its film production over the period. Before reaching a low point of 80 in 2009, the figure stood at over 88 in the first two years. As for country D, it initially produced around 15 films in the first year, but this number declined to 10 and ultimately reached approximately 13 by the final year.