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Finish Give Yourself the Gift of Done

Just Say No
It’s one thing to stop watching TV. It’s another thing to say no to spending time
with friends. “I can’t hang out on Friday,” “No, I can’t come to your event,” and
“I can’t do you that favor” are not words we perfectionists like to say. We want


to be everyone’s best friend, to have every person in the world think we are
wonderful, and we think that means spending as much time with every friend as
he or she would like.
When you think about it, that’s ridiculous.
I know that in the fall, when speaking season kicks in, I don’t really get to
see friends on the weekends. I travel Monday and Tuesday and then Thursday
and Friday. That means the weekends belong to my family. I might be able to
grab a lunch with a buddy on a Wednesday, but I can’t run off to a concert with
them on Saturday. For seven weeks during the fall, I bomb my friendships, to a
degree.
After seven years of teaching a group of women in our small town of
Franklin, Tennessee, my wife had to pause and become a student instead. She
knew the fall was going to be busy and stepped down from the far more
demanding role of instructor. For you, training for a race early in the morning
might mean fewer nights out with friends. Starting your photography business
might mean more weekends spent photographing weddings instead of spending
time with friends.
There are a variety of moments that might dictate that you be more
deliberate with your relationships, but they all require one thing. The easiest way
to deal with people in these situations is to say the most powerful word in the
English language: No.
If you’re a people pleaser, I just made you want to throw up a little bit. You
should never tell people no. Your answer should always be yes. No is a period.
Yes is an ellipsis. It leads to new opportunities and new friends. Feel the wind on
your face!
I agree, and in this book I will encourage you to share your finish with a
close friend or two, but if you’re really going to finish something, you will
probably have to put a few other relationships on pause.
Just say no. No long explanation. No apology. No justification. No.
And remember, if someone gets mad at you for saying no, they just
confirmed you were supposed to say that in the first place.

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