Fluent in 3 Months: How Anyone at Any Age Can Learn to Speak Any Language from Anywhere in the World

What If the Person Replies in English?
When I’m an absolute beginner with a language, I still prefer a person to
reply to me in the language I’m learning, but I may sometimes allow that
person to say words in English because even if the person tried to explain
them to me in my target language, it may be beyond my capabilities to
understand the explanation. Individual words in English are okay, or a
sentence, if necessary, but most of the time you should be hearing just the
target language. You need to get used to thinking in that language, and
relying on translations the entire time is not useful for this.
If you are paying for a teacher, explain very clearly and sternly that you
are paying that person to speak your target language, not your native
language. The teacher has to work to maintain the right language and be
imaginative with how it’s done. If I say this to a teacher and the person
keeps switching back to English for too long, I am wasting my money and
don’t request any further lessons. Because of this, when I start to learn a
language, I may go through several teachers, eliminating the “worst” based
mostly on their inability to help me progress using just (or at least 99
percent of the time) that language. For me, the mark of a good teacher is
how imaginative he or she is while making sure that English is only ever
used as a last resort.
If you are in a language exchange, the same rules apply. You are helping
someone during the twenty- or thirty-minute segment of the exchange that
is in your language. That time is for the other person to learn. But when it’s
your turn, he or she needs to be patient and helpful with you and not make
the switch. If the person doesn’t try hard enough, then once again consider
whether or not this is the best person to do an exchange with you.
There are plenty of paid teachers and language exchanges online, so you
are well within your rights to shop around until you find someone you can
genuinely learn with. When you give something in exchange (money or
your teaching), this person is wasting your time by not keeping in the right
language.
Let’s say you meet someone who speaks your target language, and you
ask this person in that language “How are you?” or say some other phrase to
start a conversation, but the person replies in English. Don’t lose hope. In
my experience, this is not meant as an insult regarding your level in the
language or a refusal to help you. The person may instead not be aware how

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serious you are about practicing. If you say (again, in that language) how
very interested you are in learning this beautiful language and how much
you would really appreciate any help, even with just a couple of minutes’
practice, most of time you’ll find this person appreciates your passion and
will stay in the right language.
It’s a lot to ask of a stranger, to listen to an absolute beginner for a very
long period, so just request two to five minutes for some quick practice, in a
case like this. Unless this person is busy, it’s hardly a major inconvenience,
and in most cultures and for most people, I have found them to be
overjoyed by a learner’s enthusiasm and willing to stick to the right
language. They may even offer to meet up with you later or gladly keep
helping you for much longer than a couple of minutes.
If you face any reluctance, offer something in exchange. Rather than
payment, though, you can make the conversation interesting for them in
many other ways:
I travel a lot, and in my initial years, people would ask me how on earth I
managed to travel so much without being super rich. What I had to say
was something they were very interested in hearing. Because of this, I
found that they listened attentively and helped me enthusiastically with
their language. They were interested in my explanations of how I found
cheaper flights, haggled apartment prices down, and discovered other
ways to afford my travels—and this was despite being at a beginning or
slow conversation level and making lots of mistakes.
Explain the many ways that non-English speakers can get free English
practice, such as where they can find a local expat community or the best
websites for meeting up with English speakers to get online practice, and
give them other language learning tips . . . but do it all in their language.
This way you can feel that you’ve been way more helpful in return, more
than giving them just a few minutes of English practice, and can get them
in touch with those who would be very happy to speak English with them,
if you would personally prefer not to.
Finally, if someone insists on using English with you, and you are in that
person’s country, it’s important to point out that you are the one who has
moved across the planet to learn a new language, so it’s unfair of this

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person to insist on speaking English. If nothing is coming out of the
conversation, you may have to simply move on to someone else.
When I made the tough decision to change my entire life routine (at the
time) and speak only Spanish, I discovered to my disappointment that many
Spaniards were only hanging out with me to get free English practice. I lost
several friends when I stuck to my guns about this decision, but I also made
many new friends, not just in Spain but elsewhere over the many years since
I’ve been able to speak Spanish. I’m very glad I didn’t give in when others
insisted I switch to English with them; it’s a decision that has paid for itself
thousands of times over.