Grammar and Language Workbook

6. Many immigrants from southwestern Asia travel to Europe in search of jobs.
7. The value of ivory is destroying Africa’s elephant population.
 
8. Broccoli provides the body with many health benefits and can even help to prevent some
diseases.
Name ___________________________________________________ Class _________ Date ____________________
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Grammar and Language Workbook, Grade 12
Copyright © by Glencoe/McGraw-Hill
Composition

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Lesson 103
The Writing Process: Revising
After you have completed your draft, the next step is to 
revise
, or improve, your writing.
First, reread your draft carefully. Have you stated your purpose clearly in your thesis
statement? Have you included all the details necessary to support your thesis? Next,
check for unity. Is the organization logical? Are the details presented in a way that the
reader will understand how they relate to your thesis statement? Finally, check for
coherence. Is each sentence clear? Does the writing flow smoothly from sentence to
sentence and paragraph to paragraph? Have you provided clear transitions from one idea
to the next? Rework your writing to make it clear. Add or replace words to convey
meaning as precisely as possible. While putting your ideas on paper, you may have left
out adjectives or adverbs that can make your writing more interesting. Now is the time to
add color and action to your writing by adding more descriptive words.
 Exercise 1
Revise and rewrite the paragraphs below for clarity, unity, and coherence.
1. Sitting in his small office in Southsea, England, in the 1880s, Dr. Arthur Conan Doyle passed the
time by writing stories. The author introduced his new detective in a story called “A Study in
Scarlet.” In 1886, However, Conan Doyle had the idea of basing a character on a clever and
observant teacher at his Edinburgh medical school, Joseph Bell. He tried his hand at adventure
yarns, science fiction, and history, but enjoyed only a moderate success. The character’s name,
which was soon to become known throughout the world, was Sherlock Holmes. The most famous
of all literary detectives sprang from the mind of a bored and relatively unsuccessful doctor. 
Unit 14, Composition