Hugo- a fantasia on Modern Themes

CHAPTER XXIII
FIRST TRIUMPH OF SIMON
A week later, Simon and Albert stood talking together in Simon's room
adjoining the dome. Simon had that air of absolute spruceness and freshness
which in persons who have stayed at home is so extremely offensive to
persons who have just arrived exhausted and unclean from a tiresome journey.
It was Albert who, with Hugo, had arrived from the journey.
'Had a good time, Alb?' Simon asked.
'So-so,' said Albert cautiously.
'By the way, what did you go to Paris for?'
'Didn't you know?'
'How should I know, my son?'
'The governor wanted to find that girl of his.'
'What girl?' Simon asked innocently.
'Oh, chuck it, Si!' Albert remonstrated against these affectations of ignorance
in a relative from whom he had no secrets.
'You mean Mrs. Tudor?'
'Yes.'
'She's disappeared again, has she? And you couldn't find her?'

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Albert concurred.
'It seems to me, Alb,' said Simon, 'that you aren't shining very brilliantly just
now as a detective. And I'm rather surprised, because I've been doing a bit of
detective work myself, and it's nothing but just using your eyes.'
'What have you been up to?' Albert inquired.
'Oh, nothing. Never you mind. It's purely unofficial. You see, I'm not a
detective. I'm only a servant that gets left at home. I've only been amusing
myself. Still, I've found out a thing or two that you'd give your eyes to know,
my son.'
'What?'
Albert pursued his quest of knowledge.
'You get along home to your little wife,' Simon enjoined him. 'You're a
professional detective, you are. No doubt when you've recovered from Paris,
and got into your stride, you'll find out all that I know and a bit over in about
two seconds. Off you go!'
Simon's eyes glinted.
And later, when he was giving Hugo the last ministrations for the night, Simon
looked at his lord as a cat looks at the mouse it is playing with—humorously,
viciously, sarcastically.
'I'll give him a night to lie awake in,' said Simon's eyes.
But he only allowed his eyes to make this speech while Hugo's back was
turned.
The next morning Hugo's mood was desolating. To speak to him was to play
with fire. Obviously, Hugo had heard the clock strike all the hours.
Nevertheless, Simon permitted himself to be blithe, even offensively blithe.
And when Hugo had finished with him he ventured to linger.
'You needn't wait,' said Hugo, in a voice of sulphuric acid.
'So you didn't find Mrs. Francis Tudor, sir?' responded Simon, with calm and
beautiful insolence.
It was insolence because, though few of Hugo's secrets were hid from Simon,
the intercourse between master and servant was conducted on the basis of a
convention that Simon's ignorance of Hugo's affairs was complete. And if the
convention was ignored, as it sometimes was, Hugo alone had the right to
begin the ignoring of it.
'What's that you said?' Hugo demanded.
'You didn't find Mrs. Francis Tudor, sir?' Simon blandly repeated.
'Mind your own business, my friend,' he said.

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'Certainly, sir,' said Simon. 'But I had intended to add that possibly you had not
been searching for Mrs. Tudor in the right city.'
Hugo stared at Simon, who retreated to the door.
'What in thunder do you mean?' Hugo asked coldly and deliberately.
At last Simon felt a tremor.
'I mean, sir, that I think I know where she is. At least, I know where she will
be in a couple of hours' time.'
'Where?'
'In Department 42—her old department, sir.'
By a terrific effort Hugo kept calm.
'Simon,' he said, 'don't play any tricks on me. If you do, I'll thrash you first,
and then dismiss you on the spot.'
'It's through the new manager of the drapery, sir, in place of Mr. Bentley—I
forget his name. Mr. Bentley's room being all upset with police and
accountants and things, the new manager has been using your office. And I
was in there to-day, and he was engaging a young lady for the millinery, sir.
He didn't recognise her, not having been here long enough, but I did. It was
Miss Payne.'
'Impossible!'
'Yes, sir; Miss Payne—that is to say, Mrs. Tudor. I heard him say, "Very well,
you can start to-morrow morning."'
'That's this morning?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Why didn't you tell me this last night?' Hugo roared.
'It slipped my memory, sir,' said Simon, surpassing all previous feats of
insolence.
Hugo, speechless, waved him out of the room.