Human Psychology 101: Understanding the Human Mind and What Makes People Tick

 

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CONCLUSION: PSYCHOLOGY AND THE
POWER OF GOOD
Understanding how peoples’ minds work comes with its
pitfalls. For one, when you can clearly see a person’s motivations and
thought processes, there comes a certain responsibility to use your
powers of observation and understanding for the betterment of
yourself and those around you. For another, not everyone will accept
or appreciate your help when you offer it to them, which is
frustrating, because in those cases you will feel helpless.
But on the plus side, there will always be someone who needs
help and will welcome it from you.
I met my now girlfriend Lena while I was working one of my
occasional Saturday night shifts at the bar several years ago. A
woman came in with a guy who spent their entire date eyeing the
butts on other women. She seemed agitated, because she would say
something, and he would say, “What?” as if he hadn’t been listening
to her. She came up to the bar to grab another whiskey sour, and I
stepped out on a limb.
“Your boyfriend is an asshole,” I said to her.
She looked surprised. She tried to make her face angry, but I
saw the sadness underneath the show of anger. “I don’t know what
I’m doing wrong,” she said.
“You’ve been trying to engage him in conversation for forty-five
minutes, and he’s distracted looking at other women. You deserve
better.”
She didn’t look sure too sure about that.

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“Look,” I said, “I can see that he’s not making you happy, and
you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. You should
go dump him and then come back over here for a drink on me, and
we’ll laugh gleefully at your newfound freedom.”
So she did.
I saw her a couple of weeks later with another guy. This guy
didn’t seem much better. He talked over her, made lewd jokes at her
expense, and looked at her with microexpressions of contempt. She
came up to the bar to refill her drink and asked me what I thought of
this guy.
I told her exactly what I saw in his behavior and expressions. It
became a weird little routine for us. She would come in with a guy,
and after the first round of drinks, I told her what I saw. Sometimes
he seemed like a decent guy, and then I wouldn’t see her for a few
months, but she’d always be back, until she no longer came with a
man, but just came to hang with me while I worked.
When you understand how people tick, the world is at your
fingertips. After all, there is no weapon more versatile and powerful
than the human brain.