Human Psychology 101: Understanding the Human Mind and What Makes People Tick

Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
In decision-making, a person on the thinking end of the
continuum will look at the situation with logic and consistency, while
a person on the feeling end of the continuum will look at the people
and try to see and understand any special circumstances that are at
play.
Don’t confuse thinking with intelligence or feeling with
emotion. Everyone experiences emotion and uses their intelligence
in decision-making; these are different from the thinking and feeling
traits.
A thinking person seeks to not let their personal opinions and
others’ personal opinions influence their decisions. They will look for
a logical explanation in a situation that seems inconsistent with
others like it, and they will be more truthful than tactful. They are
often seen as cool, detached decision-makers who are very task-
oriented. People who are more on the feeling end of the continuum
often perceive them as cold or indifferent.
A feeling person tends to take into account the thoughts and
feelings of all people involved in a decision and seek to make a
decision that promotes the most group harmony. This person gets
nervous or uncomfortable when others are unhappy and will seek to
find a compromise that will make the most people happy. Their
weakness tends to be that in the midst of taking everyone’s thoughts
and opinions into account, they miss the cold, hard facts of a
situation and sometimes come off as being too subjective or
idealistic.
Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)

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The judging or perceiving continuum refers to how a person
tends to feel about structure in their life and how they interact in the
outside world. A judging person will prefer a more rigid structure
and will work to nail down that structure as soon as they can. A
perceiving person likes to stay open to possibilities.
This last continuum is a little bit more complicated to explain
than the others, because it’s not merely about whether a person likes
structure or not; it’s about how they tend to appear to the outside
world. A person who tends to interact with the outside world when
they are making decisions, will appear to be very structured,
organized, and orderly to others. A person who tends to interact with
the outside world by taking in information will appear to others to be
more spontaneous and adaptable.
A judging person interacts with the outer world using their
decision-making trait (whether that is through thinking or feeling).
This person likes to make decisions and stick to them. This person
will make plans or lists, will work before playing, and will seem, to
others, to be very organized and task-oriented. Since this trait
applies to how they prefer to act in the outside world, that doesn’t
mean that these things are true of them internally. They might still
feel that they are very flexible and open to new ideas and
spontaneity. Do not confuse the judging trait with being judgmental,
as they are not related to each other.
A perceiving person interacts with the outer world using their
information trait (whether that is through sensing or intuition). This
person will seek to take in more information rather than making a
decision, which causes others to see them as spontaneous and
flexible. They prefer to understand information as opposed to

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organizing it. They often mix their work with their play, work with
bursts of energy, and are spurred to productivity by approaching
deadlines. While this person appears to be unorganized or
completely spontaneous, they often feel very decisive and that they
stick to their plans and routines. Do not confuse the perceiving trait
with being perceptive, as they are not the same thing.
Understanding the nuances of these traits will give you insight
into how people relate externally with the world around them, which
can, in turn, help you better understand how they tick.
What To Do With These Personality Types
When a stranger at the grocery store pisses you off, you have
the option of walking away and ranting about the annoying person to
your friends or spouse and never having to see that person again.
You don’t ask them about their personality type to try to determine if
they meant to offend you by informing you that your favorite
breakfast cereal has a lot of high fructose corn syrup in it or if they
were just trying to help you out, because they believe that you must
not know the facts or you wouldn’t be buying it.
However, with your family members, friends, and colleagues,
walking away forever, talking shit, and never seeing them again isn’t
necessarily an option, and often you have something to lose by
cutting ties with these people. That’s when understanding their
personalities can be most helpful in helping you to understand how
they tick and more peacefully resolve conflicts and communicate
your thoughts in a way they will understand.
For example, you might have a really interesting business idea
that you think has the propensity to revolutionize the entire fitness
community, and you want to pitch it to your buddy in marketing to

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see if he’ll help you out. Maybe you’re most excited about the
groundbreaking nature of this project and about helping people
reach their fitness goals more easily than ever before, but you know
that your buddy is very fact-based and logical. He appreciates
innovation only insofar as it has a large enough target audience to be
profitable.
How do you pitch your idea to him? You need to speak in a
language that he will find most persuasive. Do your research and
figure out what the target audience is, whether there’s a need for
your product, and how much money you could make. If your idea is
as good as you say it is, let the facts speak for themselves, as these
are what will persuade you friend over any pretty rhetoric about
building a better future.
Here’s another example. My buddy and his wife were in
constant conflict over when the housework should get done. He
wanted to work in spurts and take frequent breaks to watch a TV
show or make a nice meal. She wanted to get it all done in one swift
cleaning binge and have the rest of the day to hang out and relax. I
was able to point out to my buddy that his wife wasn’t trying to be a
drill sergeant; she was just more of a sensing, thinking, judging sort
of person, and he was more of an intuition feeling, perceiving sort of
person. Neither of them were wrong; they just had different
preferences.
Once they realized this, they were able to decide on a
compromise regarding the housework that made room for and
validated both of their preferences. When they needed to get a lot of
chores done in a short period of time, like before company came
over, they used her method, but they agreed to always take a meal

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break at the appropriate meal hour. When they just had a few things
to get done in no specific time frame, they used his method but
agreed that they would see the specific task to completion before
taking a break. This way, both of them could feel productive, and the
housework no longer had to be a huge sore spot between them.
Not all conflicts will be that straightforward, but sometimes just
knowing the difference between something that is better or worse
versus something that is just different from what you want can help
you walk a mile in another’s shoes and, if not agree, then at least
understand where they’re coming from.

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