John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by


In each of the above examples, be prepared for him to say no and practice being accepting and


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Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus

 
In each of the above examples, be prepared for him to say no and practice being accepting and 
trusting. Accept his no and trust that he would offer support if he could. Each time you ask a 
man for support and he isn't made wrong for saying no, he gives you between five and ten 
points. Next time you ask he will be more responsive to your request. In a sense, by asking for 
his support in a loving way, you are helping him stretch his ability to give more. 
 
I first learned this from a woman employee years ago. We were working on a non-profit project 
and needed volunteers. She was about to call Tom, who was a friend of mine. I told her not to 
bother because I already knew he would not be able to help this time. She said she would call 
anyway. I asked her why, and she said, "When I call I will ask for his support, and when he 
says no I will be very gracious and understanding. Then next time, when I call for a future 
project, he will be more willing to say yes. He will have a positive memory of me." She was 
right. 
 
When you ask a man for support and you do not reject him for saying no, he will remember 


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that, and next time he will be much more willing to give. On the other hand, if you quietly 
sacrifice your needs and don't ask, he won't have any idea how many times he is needed. How 
could he know if you don't ask? 
 
As you gently continue to ask for more, occasionally your partner will be able to stretch his 
comfort zone and say yes. At this point it has become safe to ask for more. This is one way 
healthy relationships are built. 
 
Healthy Relationships 
 

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