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Who Will Cry When You Die

80. 
Make a Vow of Silence  
The Buddhist monks have a favorite strategy to build willpower – one that has been used by many cultures over 
the years to create enormous amounts of inner strength and resolve. It is the vow of silence. Staying quiet for 
even short periods of time builds willpower and self – control because you exert force on your will by not 
giving in to the impulse to talk. 
So many people talk far more than they have do. Rather than speaking precisely and communicating 
only what needs to be said, all to often we go on and on. This in itself reveals a lack of discipline. Discipline 
involves saying exactly what needs to be said and preserving your precious mental energy by not talking more 
than you have to. Measured, precise speech is also a sign of clear thought and of a serene mind. 
A strategy that you can apply today to improve your personal discipline is to keep a vow of silence for 
one hour a day over the next seven. Don’t speak at all during this silent time. Or if you must, speak only in 
direct response to a question and offer a clear, crisp answer rather than rattling on about everything from what 
was on TV last night to where you hope to vacation this summer. The vow of silence can be adopted politely 
and warmly. The idea is to make you stronger and to enhance your will, not to hinder your relationships. Within 
a matter of days, you will feel a sense of mastery and strength growing within you. Judge by the results: they 
will speak for themselves. 


81. 
Don’t Pick Up the Phone 
Every Time It Rings 
The telephone is there for your convenience, not for the convenience of your callers. Yet, as soon as we hear the 
phone ring, we act as if we are firefighters rushing to a five – alarm fire. We run to pick it up as if our lives 
depended on the call being answered at once. I have seen people interrupt quiet family dinners, dedicated 
reading times and meditation periods to answer those seemingly urgent phone calls, many of which turn out to 
be ones that could have been taken later. 
Voice mail, though not perfect, is in many ways one of the great blessings of the modern age. It frees 
you up to do the things you want by allowing you to answer calls when it suits you. You no longer need to be 
interrupted by the ringing phone and can spend your time on life’s more important pursuits. 
The habit of picking up the phone every time it rings is a hard one to break, as I know from personal 
experience. It is so easy to run to it, simply because we want to know who is calling us. Often, picking up the 
ringing phone is just another way to put off doing something you don’t really want to do. But once you get good 
at letting it ring and staying focused on the activity at hand, whether it is reading a good book, having a heart – 
to – heart conversation with your life partner or frolicking with your kids, you will wonder what the hurry to 
pick up the phone was all about in the first place. 



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