Minutes a day n e w y o r k

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A N S W E R   K E Y
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1 8 7
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L e s s o n   1 6
Practice 1
Individual revisions will vary, but you should have addressed the following problems in the paragraph.
1st sentence:
unnecessary repetition and wordiness
2nd sentence:
unnecessary repetition and wordiness, passive sentence
3rd sentence:
pretentious language and wordiness
4th sentence:
passive sentence
5th sentence:
unnecessary repetition and ambiguity (does they refer to questions or opportunities?)
Here’s how the edited paragraph might look:
The greatest challenge my generation will face will be ethical dilemmas created by scientific advances. We have
discovered so much in this century, especially in the last few decades. We have opportunities to do things we never
thought possible before. But these opportunities have raised some very difficult ethical questions. These oppor-
tunities have given us new power over nature, but this power can easily be abused.
Practice 2
The following is an example of a successful edit.
My generation will face many problems. First is the problem of feeling overwhelmed by technology. Second, with
the ever-increasing life span of human beings, the generation gap is widening. A third problem is the population
explosion; there are more people on the planet than ever before, and the world population continues to grow expo-
nentially, putting a squeeze on our habitable space. That leads us to a fourth problem: limited natural resources.