Musashi's Dokkodo (The Way of Walking Alone)

Insurance Executive:
Someone said an object in possession seldom retains the same
charm it had in pursuit. It’s fine to value your possessions but some
people find themselves continuously seeking more and more for no
other reason than to acquire. Those rare few that are able to stop the
madness—usually with the help of a therapist or the sudden
realization of some kind—and look at themselves and their
possessions objectively, realize they don’t need most of it.
My husband claims his only bad habit is he buys a new car every
two years. He knows it’s a waste of money but he does it anyway for
no other reason than he likes to drive a new car. He even admits that
while the joy wears off in three or four months, he continues this
habitual pattern anyway because at least for the remainder of two-
year period, he has a shiny ride with that new car smell. Before I met

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him he owned a new BMW. He said it was a wonderful car but
owning it was extraordinarily stressful. He was constantly worried he
was going to get into an accident, someone would bang their car
door into it, or it would be stolen. As it turned out, he did back into
another car and break a taillight and someone did ding his door with
a grocery cart. Topping his worse fears realized were the
astronomical cost of repairs. That time he didn’t wait the full two
years before he got a new car, a Ford pickup.
Is this sick? Crazy? Money wasting? I suppose one could argue it
so, but I figure if it’s as he says his only fault (yeah, right), it can be
overlooked. Plus I get to ride in a new car too.
He teases me that I will soon reach my goal of possessing every
perfume in existence. Okay, I might have one or two… hundred, but
it’s something I enjoy. Sick? Crazy? Again, one could argue it so. For
now, I’ll stay out of the fray and spray on a little Jasmine Noir.
If acquiring new possessions can be a problem when taken to
extremes (collecting perfumes not being one of them; I’m sure of it),
holding onto old things no longer needed just might be an issue.
Psychologists tell us that possessions have a way of tying us down.
When you think of your situation honestly, some of your things really
bring you joy, while your remaining possessions clutter your
environment and ultimately your mind. A cluttered mind means more
stress, and don’t you already have enough? Besides the clutter
factor, there is also the worry factor: Someone could steal it or
damage it… or maybe it’ll become obsolete.
I had a friend who was never happy unless he had a new boat, car,
or house. The new car he got every year, the new boat every two
years, and a different house every five. He kept pictures of them in
an ever thickening scrapbook and would page through them wistfully
smiling and remembering, just as other people do when looking at
their photos of their vacations or family gatherings. He married a
woman who was the same way. The marriage would be short-lived,
though—just like their possessions.

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What I try to do, and it can be difficult and I’m not always successful,
is to distinguish between what my husband and I need to truly enjoy
our daily life, and get rid of the rest. There is great pleasure in
freeing up space that was only cluttering our lives.
Might this also relate to toxic people in our lives? Most religions
teach us to love one another, have compassion for others, and help
our fellow man when we can. After all, we’re all doing the best we
can in this difficult life. But this doesn’t mean we have to like every
person we meet on our path, nor does it mean we have to keep him
or her in our lives if there are options. It’s not always possible, but
when it is, it’s important to our sanity to clear the clutter of those toxic
to us. Easy? No, especially when it’s a relative or a long-time friend
that no longer is.
The Dalai Lama said, “Happiness is not something readymade. It
comes from your own actions.” So take action now and begin to get
rid of old possessions you no longer need and those people
poisonous to your wellbeing.
But leave my perfume alone.