Shepherding a Child's Heart

Developing an Adult Relationship
A good metaphor for the parent and teenage child relationship is
the relationship adults would have with one another. There are several
elements to an adult relationship that parallel your relationship with
your teen. This does not signal the child’s moving out from under
parental oversight; rather, it marks the parent’s sensitivity to the
child’s ascent into adulthood.
Think of your relationship to your child in these terms. In your
nurturing relationships with adult friends, how would you try to
pursue that friendship? What are some of the “dos” and “don’ts” of
adult relationship?

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Waiting for the Right Time
In regular friendship relationships, you would never jump on your
friend the moment you saw him do something you questioned the
wisdom of, or thought was wrong. So long as his life was not
endangered, you would not pounce on him about everything you saw
him do or heard him say. You would bide your time, waiting for the
proper moment. Do your teenagers need less consideration?
I have been embarrassed sometimes to be with the parents of
teenagers and hear them reprimand their children over every little
fault. You have no biblical obligation to censure your children for
everything they do that is irritating to you. You must increasingly
make room for your teenager’s differing style and manner, holding
correction for moral and ethical failures.
When you have determined that you must address some issue with
your children, you must watch for a good time. If you have an
important issue to discuss, it helps to take a walk or jog, or a ride in
the car to provide some uninterrupted time for a good conversation.
Develop sensitivity to your children. Sometimes, they are very
talkative. At other times, they are less forthcoming. During the times
when they are accessible, you must be prepared to engage them. This
may be inconvenient for you, but it is crucial to your relationship with
them.