Shepherding a Child's Heart

Parenting Defined
Recognizing that God has called you to function as his agent

---

defines your task as a parent. Our culture has reduced parenting to
providing care. Parents often see the task in these narrow terms. The
child must have food, clothes, a bed, and some quality time.
In sharp contrast to such a weak view, God has called you to a
more profound task than being only a care-provider. You shepherd
your child in God’s behalf. The task God has given you is not one that
can be conveniently scheduled. It is a pervasive task. Training and
shepherding are going on whenever you are with your children.
Whether waking, walking, talking or resting, you must be involved in
helping your child to understand life, himself, and his needs from a
biblical perspective (Deuteronomy 6:6–7).
If you are going to shepherd your children, you must understand
what makes your children tick. If you are going to direct them in the
ways of the Lord, as Genesis 18 calls you to, you must know them and
their inclinations. This task requires more than simply providing
adequate food, clothing and shelter.
Clear Objectives
It is instructive to ask parents what concrete training objectives
they have for their children. Most parents cannot quickly generate a
list of the strengths and weaknesses of their children. Nor can they
articulate what they are doing to strengthen their child’s weak areas
or to encourage his strengths. Many moms and dads have not sat
down and discussed their short-term and long-term goals for their
children. They have not developed strategies for parenting. They do
not know what God says about children and his requirements for
them. Little thought has been given to methods and approaches that
would focus correction upon attitudes of heart rather than merely on
behavior. Sadly, most correction occurs as a by-product of children
being an embarrassment or an irritation.
Why is this? Our idea of parenting does not include shepherding.
Our culture sees a parent as an adult care-provider. Quality time is

---

considered having fun together. Fun together is not a bad idea, but it
is light years away from directing your child in the ways of God.
In contrast to this, Genesis 18 calls fathers to direct their children
to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just. Being a
parent means working in God’s behalf to provide direction for your
children. Directors are in charge. It involves knowing and helping
them to understand God’s standard for children’s behavior. It means
teaching them that they are sinners by nature. It includes pointing
them to the mercy and grace of God shown in Christ’s life and death
for sinners.