Shepherding a Child's Heart

Unbiblical Methods
Unbiblical approaches come to us in many ways. Books and
magazines regularly address childrearing. There is always a market
for approaches that promise some hope of success. Talk-TV programs
bring on experts. Sometimes we just fall back on the familiar patterns
by which we were raised.
Various approaches have one thing in common: The human mind
is the standard. It may be our own mind—“There is nothing wrong
with what my father did … ” It may be the mind of others—“Dr. ‘So
& So’ on talk-radio advocated this and it sounds good to me …” Faith
in the human mind as a sufficient reference point for itself is implicit
in each of these examples.
Let’s identify the prevalent methods.
I Didn’t Turn Out So Bad
Sadly, many parents have not thought through methodology. They
just get mad and yell. When they have “had it up to here,” they

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threaten, holler, hit their kids and grow increasingly frustrated.
Sometimes this is done in the name of biblical discipline. After all,
they don’t want to be permissive parents with undisciplined children.
When challenged, they often respond like this: “My Dad yelled at me.
He used to knock me around once in a while. I didn’t like it, but I
turned out okay.”
What has this parent done? He has unquestioningly accepted and
employed the same method of childrearing his parents used. He has
not assessed whether it was biblical. He has not assessed whether it
had a good impact on him. He has simply drawn from his survival the
implication that it wasn’t that bad.
In the example above, the “I didn’t turn out so bad” method was
confrontational and abusive. Other applications of this method may
not involve confrontation and abuse. Perhaps parents were indulgent
and permissive. Maybe they caved in and were easily manipulated.
The point is that many parents unquestioningly employ whatever
method their parents employed. When they correct their kids, they are
simply echoing their parents’ words and tones.