Shepherding a Child's Heart

Obedience Defined
Obedience is out of vogue in our culture. You can find classes that
provide assertiveness training, but try to find classes in
submissiveness training! Obedience is the willing submission of one
person to the authority of another. It means more than a child doing
what he is told. It means doing what he is told—
Without Challenge
Without Excuse
Without Delay
Often, submission means doing what he doesn’t want to do, at
least what he doesn’t want to do at that moment.
If you rouse your children and announce that you are taking them
to an amusement park for the day, you would not regard their
cooperation as submission. They are doing what they want. It may be
done at the suggestion of their father, but it is not submission,
because it is something they wanted to do. My point is this:
Submission to authority means that your child will have to do things
that he does not wish to do.
You inevitably train your children in obedience. You may train
them to obey only after you’ve yelled, pleaded, or threatened. You
may train them to obey only when they wish to. You may not train
them to obey at all. Even that is a type of training in obedience.
When your directives are met by a discourse about why what you
have asked is not fair, your children are not obeying. When you are
met with excuses or explanations, they are not obeying. When they

---

refuse to respond at once, they are not obeying. Submission to
authority means that they obey without delay, excuse, or challenge.
It is easy to think unclearly about obedience. When you say to
your child, “Dear, I want you to go to bed now,” there is only one
appropriate response. It is not, “I’ll go after I finish coloring this
page.” It is not, “Why do I always have to go to bed so early?” It is
not to ignore you entirely.
There is only one obedient response. It is to go to bed without
delay. If you accept any other response, you are training your children
to disobey.
Remember what is at stake; that it go well with your children and
that they enjoy a long life. They must honor and obey.