The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)


The Passive-Aggressive Charmer


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The Laws of Human Nature

The Passive-Aggressive Charmer: These types are amazingly
nice and accommodating when you first meet them, so much so that
you tend to let them into your life rather quickly. They smile a lot. They
are upbeat and always willing to help. At some point, you may return
the favor by hiring them for a job or helping them in their careers. You
will detect along the way some cracks in the veneer—perhaps they
make a somewhat critical comment out of the blue, or you hear from
friends that they have been talking about you behind your back. Then
something ugly occurs—a blowup, some act of sabotage or betrayal—so
unlike that nice, charming person you first befriended.
The truth is that these types realize early on in life that they have
aggressive, envious tendencies that are hard to control. They want
power. They intuit that such inclinations will make life hard for them.
Over many years they cultivate the opposite façade—their niceness has
an almost aggressive edge. Through this stratagem they are able to
gain social power. But they secretly resent having to play such a role
and be so deferential. They can’t maintain it. Under stress or simply
worn out by the effort, they will lash out and hurt you. They can do this
well now that they know you and your weak spots. They will, of course,
blame you for what ensues.
Your best defense is to be wary of people who are too quick to
charm and befriend, too nice and accommodating at first. Such
extreme niceness is never natural. Keep your distance and look for
some early signs, such as passive-aggressive comments. If you notice
that—somewhat out of character—they indulge in malicious gossip
about someone, you can be sure the Shadow is speaking and that you
will be the target of such gossip one day.
The Fanatic: You are impressed by their fervor, in support of
whatever cause. They speak forcefully. They allow for no compromise.


They will clean things up, restore greatness. They radiate strength and
conviction, and because of this they gain followers. They have a flair
for drama and capturing attention. But at the key moment when they
could possibly deliver what they have promised, they unexpectedly slip
up. They become indecisive at the wrong moment, or burn themselves
out and fall ill, or take such ill-conceived actions that it all falls apart.
It’s as if they have suddenly lost belief, or secretly wanted to fail.
The truth is that such types have massive insecurities from early on
in life. They have doubts about their self-worth. They never felt loved
or admired enough. Riddled with fears and uncertainty, they cover this
up with the mask of great belief, in themselves and in their cause. You
will notice in their past some shifts in their belief system, sometimes
radical. That is because it is not the particular belief that matters but
the intense conviction, and so they will shift this around to fit the
times. Belief in something is like a drug for them. But the doubts
return. They secretly know they cannot deliver the goods. And so under
stress they become the opposite—indecisive and secretly doubtful.
They suddenly fire their assistants and managers to give the
impression of action, but unconsciously they are sabotaging
themselves with unnecessary change. They have to blow it all up,
somehow and yet blame others.
Never be taken in by the strength of people’s convictions and their
flair for drama. Always operate by the rule that the greater the
stridency in what they say, the deeper the underlying insecurities and
doubts. Do not become a follower. They will make a fool of you.

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