The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

Masculine and feminine styles of action:
When it comes to taking action,
the masculine tendency is to move forward, explore the situation,
attack, and vanquish. If there are obstacles in the way, it will try to
push through them, this desire aptly expressed by the ancient military
leader Hannibal—“I will either find a way or make a way.” It derives
pleasure from staying on the offensive and taking risks. It prefers to
maintain its independence and room to maneuver.
When confronted with a problem or the need to take action, the
feminine style often prefers to first withdraw from the immediate
situation and contemplate more deeply the options. It will often look
for ways to avoid the conflict, to smooth out relations, to win without
having to go to battle. Sometimes the best action is nonaction—let the
dynamic play itself out to understand it better; let the enemy hang
itself by its aggressive actions.
This was the style of Queen Elizabeth I, whose primary strategy was
to wait and see: when confronted with an imminent invasion by

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Spain’s vast seafaring armada, she decided to not commit to a strategy
until she knew exactly when the armada was launched and the weather
conditions of the moment, working to slow down its advance and let
the bad weather destroy it, with minimal loss of life. Instead of
charging forward, the feminine style lays traps for the enemy.
Independence is not an essential value in action; in fact, it is better to
focus on interdependent relationships and how one move might harm
an ally and cause ripple effects to an alliance.
In the West, this feminine style of strategizing and acting is
instinctively judged as weak and timid. But in other cultures the style is
viewed quite differently. To Chinese strategists, wu-wei, or nonaction,
is often the height of wisdom and aggressive action a sign of stupidity
because it narrows one’s options. There is in fact tremendous strength
contained within the feminine style—patience, resilience, and
flexibility. To the great samurai warrior Miyamoto Musashi, the ability
to stand back and wait, to let the opponent tire himself out mentally
before counterattacking, was critical for success.
For those with the aggressive, masculine inclination, balance would
come from training yourself to step back before taking any action.
Consider the possibility that it is better to wait and see how things play
out, or even to not respond at all. Taking action without proper
consideration reveals weakness and a lack of self-control. For balance,
always try to consider the interdependent relationships you are
involved in and how each group or individual will be affected by any
action. If you find yourself blocked in your career later in life, you must
learn the power of withdrawing and reflecting on who you are, your
needs, your strengths and weaknesses, your true interests before
making any important decisions. This could require weeks or months
of introspection. Some of the greatest leaders in history honed their
best ideas while in prison. As the French would say, reculer pour
mieux sauter (“step back in order to leap forward”).
For those with the feminine style, it is best to accustom yourself to
various degrees of conflict and confrontation, so that any avoidance of
it is strategic and not out of fear. This requires baby steps, confronting
people in small ways in everyday situations before handling larger
conflicts. Drop the need to always consider the other side’s feelings;
sometimes there are bad people who need to be thwarted, and being
empathetic only empowers them. You need to be comfortable saying
no and turning people down. Sometimes when you try to smooth

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things out, it is not out of empathy or strategy but out of an aversion to
displeasing people. You have been trained to be deferential, and you
need to get rid of this impulse. You need to reconnect to the bold and
adventurous spirit you once had and widen your strategic options to
both offense and defense. Sometimes you can overthink things and
come up with too many options. Action for its own sake can be
therapeutic, and taking aggressive action can discomfit your
opponents.