The Art of Learning: An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance

partner was my dear friend Daniel Caulfield. Dan is a phenomenal martial
artist who placed second in the world in his weight division. He’s a fierce
competitor, deeply perceptive, with a philosopher’s soul that gives his martial

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style a unique resonance. During our training for the Worlds, Dan and I
squared off on the mat every night with the intensity of tournament opponents.
It was strange going to war with each other after so many years of friendship.
We knew each other’s games intimately—there were no technical secrets—so
our battles were largely of the mind. In the final three months of preparation,
we made the risky agreement to each be responsible for his own safety, which
liberated us to play as we would in the championships. There was no holding
back. If one of us was slightly off, he got annihilated and had to stew in his
juices until the next session. If one of us detected a tell or weakness in the
other, he went after it relentlessly until a defensive adjustment was made. We
weren’t just competing in the ring, we were honing our abilities to read and
mask the subtlest signs on the fly.
Dan is a brilliant guy with tremendously explosive power and razor-sharp
technique. He knew even my tiniest habits. Every exhalation was dangerous. If
my presence diminished for a fraction of a second, I was on the floor. The air
felt electric during these sessions. We taped our training and every week I
broke down the video. Depending on the day, one or both of us seemed to be
operating in a different dimension. Time felt slowed down or sped up. A couple
of times when Dan was really on, I blinked and by the time my eyes were open,
I was in midair, flying out of the ring. This was my secret! No one had ever
turned it on me before. An adjustment was called for, and I got into the habit
of taking a tiny step back or pulsing into Dan on my blinks, creating a little
space so he couldn’t fire in on me. A few times when I was really flowing, I
used Dan’s awareness of my eye patterns against him, blinking to pull him into
an overextension. He quickly caught on to my ruse and our psychology
continued to evolve. If both players are aware of a tell, then it will be
neutralized, made ineffective, and others will have to be unearthed and
exploited. The game goes on.
This type of psychological warfare is at the center of nearly all high-level
competitive disciplines—and I mean competitive in the loosest sense imaginable.
For example, the car salesman and potential buyer are opponents. When two
highly trained minds square off, in any field, the players are in a fight to enter
each other’s heads. These exchanges feel like epic tennis rallies in which the tilt
of battle sways back and forth as one player picks up on a faint tell that may or
may not exist long enough to be exploited, and the other has to feel the danger,
and swat the rival out of his mind before it is too late.

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While refined mental competitors can have extended dialogues of this
nature, in my observation most people are relatively unaware of their
psychological subtleties. This makes for easy pickings for the astute rival. So
beware when squaring off with a well-versed negotiator, salesman, or lawyer!
Understand that the battle stretches well beyond the traditional arena. When
one player is more aware of these issues than the other, conditioning is quite
simple. Quarterbacks flick their eyes and send safeties flying all over the
football field. Real estate moguls furrow their brows, act impatient, check their
watches to lull buyers into nervous offers. A chess player observes a rhythm,
then sits, lets his clock tick even though a decision has already been reached,
then finally makes his move just as the opponent predictably gets up to go to
the bathroom. What now? Take a minute, go to the bathroom, come back.
Control the pace of the game. Awareness of these dynamics can make you hard
to manipulate, and can allow you to turn the tables on even the savviest of
conditioners.
To master these psychological battles, it is essential to understand their
technical foundation. Contrary to the ego-enforcing descriptions of some “kung
fu masters,” there is nothing mystical about controlling intention or entering
the mind of the opponent. These are skills to be cultivated like any other, and
the last few chapters have been my attempt to lay out the road map to their
internalization.

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