The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block 2-Book Bundle pdfdrive com

Toddler-ese: It’s as Easy as 1, 2, 3
Toddler-ese turns adult language into simple messages that our little
cave-kids understand … even during a frenzy.
You can translate anything you want to say into Toddler-ese with just
three simple techniques:
• short phrases
• repetition
• mirroring—a bit—of your child’s feelings (with your tone of
voice and gestures)
Let’s look at these one by one.
Toddler-ese Step 1: Short Phrases
Toddlers are uncivilized little people. And primitive people have
primitive languages. Remember those Tarzan movies? “Come, Cheetah,
come!” “No, Jane, no eat.”
Even adults get primitive when we’re upset. That’s why we say that
someone who got really mad “went ape!” Strong feelings, like fear and
anger, make us drop down an emotional elevator. And the more upset
we get, the more primitive we become: Ding! Going down!
Well, the same thing happens to toddlers. Except the left half of the
brain in young children starts out immature and primitive, so when they

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get upset, their behavior often gets absolutely prehistoric!
That’s why the first principle of Toddler-ese is to use very short
phrases. The more upset your toddler is, the more simple your words
need to be.
For young tots, or very angry older kids, start with one-to two-word
phrases (using just the key words). For example, for an upset two-year-
old:
Instead of:
Say:
“I know you feel mad about
it.”
“You’re mad! Mad! Mad!
”
“Did that doggie scare you?”
“Scared! Scared! Big
doggie!”
“You really want that candy,
don’t you?”
“Candy! Candy! You
want it … now!”
These “bite-size” bits of lingo are perfect for a child’s stressed-out brain.
(Of course, as your tot recovers, you will stretch your phrases back to
normal.)
Toddler-ese Step 2: Repetition
Repetition is just as important as short phrases. That’s because upset
toddlers often miss our initial words. You know the saying that adults go
blind with rage? Well, toddlers go … deaf with rage.
Words whiz by your toddler’s brain too fast for her to handle when
she’s in an emotional tangle. And the more upset she gets, the deafer

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she’ll seem. That’s why you’ll need to repeat the same short phrase three
to eight times … just to get your upset toddler’s attention. Then, it helps
to say it a few more times, to convince her you really understand.
Does this sound excessive? It’s not. In fact, many parents fail to soothe
their child merely because they think acknowledging their child’s
feelings just one time is enough. But when emotions slam shut the door
of your child’s mind, you have to “knock” many times just for her to

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hear you and “let you in.”
Here’s how to do it: Imagine it’s raining, and your two-year-old, Sam,
is desperate to go splashing in the mud. He’s crying at the door,
struggling to reach the knob. In response you:
• Get down on his level and point to the door.
• Say: “You want … you want … you want outside! Outside now!
Sammy says, ‘Go … go … go! ’ ”
If he keeps fussing, repeat your words a few more times. Soon he’ll turn
to you, as if to say, Huh? You talkin’ to me?
As his crying lessens, stretch your sentences back to normal: “Sammy
says, ‘Outside now!’ You really want to go out! You say, ‘Let’s go play,
Mommy!’ ”
If you have voiced his feelings accurately, he’ll turn to you, look you
right in the eyes, and think to himself: Bingo! That’s exactly what I want.
Mom “gets it”!
As he calms a bit more, it becomes your turn to give a message
(explanation, distraction, etc.; see
this page
):
“But no, sweetheart, noooo. It’s raining! Raining! Wet … yucky! Come
with me! Let’s have a pillow fight. Come on! It’s fun!”
Toddler-ese Step 3: Mirror a Bit of Your Tot’s
Intensity in Your Tone and Gestures
The first two parts of Toddler-ese are a big help, but the third is the
magic key!
Your little one may not understand all your words, but she’s brilliant at
reading your voice and face (a right-brain specialty). That’s why
mirroring a bit of your child’s emotion with your tone of voice, facial
expression, and body language lets you connect perfectly with her sweet
spot!

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• Voice. Use more oomph than normal, but speak at a lower
volume than your child is using. Reflect some of the fear,
frustration, and other emotions you hear in her tone of voice, at
about a third of her intensity. (If your child is very shy or
sensitive, you will probably have to use a bit less intensity.)
Gradually bring your voice back to normal as she begins to calm.
• Face. Be expressive. Raise your eyebrows, shake your head,
open your eyes, furrow your brow, purse your lips.
• Body language. Use lots of gestures. Wag a finger, wave your
hands, point, shrug, stomp the ground.