More Magic Fear-Fighters
Older toddlers love magic and pretend too. Try the following and
see how fast the bad things go away:
• Offer a protective charm: a special “magic
bracelet,” a
dreamcatcher (for bad dreams), a bedside photo of his protectors
(like Mom and Dad or Superman), or, like Fran, a spray bottle of
superspecial “magic water.”
• Pretend to put an invisible “magic space suit” on your little one
each night. Patiently massage it on
from head to toe so it will
keep him safe once he’s in bed. Draw a picture of what he would
look like in it … if he could see it.
Worried-Behavior Example: Struggles When a New
Baby Arrives
Big changes
are tough even on adults, so it’s to be expected that they
give toddlers extra stress.
Stephen and Nicole’s three-year-old, Sam, always had
trouble going to bed on his own. But after the birth of his
sister, the nighttime stalling escalated dramatically!
Nicole explained: “Now when I say ‘night-night’ he pleads
for ‘one more book’ … ‘a glass of water’ … ‘a backrub.’
Last night he sobbed that he couldn’t stay alone because
he could hear bad guys trying to get in the house!”
Tools to Handle Sibling Issues
Here are some easy ways to deal
with the problem of sibling
competition.
Connect with Respect.
Worried kids dig in their heels, especially
when they feel rushed. So, when your child is in the throes of anxiety,
take a minute to appreciate his feelings with
your best Fast-Food Rule
+Toddler-ese.
Time-In.
A new baby can make an older child feel “kicked off the
throne.” They often feel like something important has been taken away
from them … and it has. You can help your child deal with this loss by
feeding his meter with many mini time-ins.
Now, more than ever,
your older child will love praise. Catch him
being good throughout the day and be generous with your praise … but
not
over the top (don’t overdo the jumping up and down and
applauding). Use gossip,
hand checks, and star charts to encourage the
behaviors you like.
Play the Boob.
This fun confidence builder helps little kids feel
powerful. That’s helpful because having a new baby in the house makes
toddlers feel that there’s a lot over which they have no control. Also,
remind your child that the play you enjoy together is “big kid”
play and
little babies are too tiny and weak to do it.
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