Practice Patience-Stretching and Magic Breathing.
When
you teach your child self-control you’ll make it easier for him to avoid
conflict—with you or anyone else.
Plant Seeds of Kindness.
Practice by role-playing, by telling
homespun fairy tales with messages about life lessons regarding right
and wrong, and by catching others being good.
Tools to Stop Defiance
You will be most successful teaching your children respect, fairness, and
calmness when you model them yourself, during times of conflict.
So when you’re caught in a toddler rebellion, use your ambassadorial
skills to help you turn conflict into cooperation. Here’s how:
Connect with Respect.
Use a few phrases to show you understand
and care.
Let Your Child “Save Face.”
To help both you and your toddler
save face, try offering options, inventing little competitions (making a
game out of what you are requesting, like having a race), or suggesting a
win-win compromise:
Offer Options
Three-year-old Selma hates getting dressed in the
morning, so her mother has learned how to offer her
options that yield the desired result: “Selma, you really,
really don’t want to get dressed. You love just playing
with your toys. I’m so, so sorry, but Mommy has to leave
with your toys. I’m so, so sorry, but Mommy has to leave
very soon, so here’s your choice: You can dress yourself
or I can take you to the store in your pajamas (even
though you might get cold). Which one sounds best, get
dressed or be in your cold pajamas?”
Play (Make it a game)
Sofia wasn’t a big eater, so her mother, Agapi, wanted her
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