Arianna ignored Morgan as she protested, “I want my
crunchies.” And then, with a big pout on her face, she
suddenly got up and brought her shoes to her mom to be
put on. Arianna immediately rewarded her daughter’s
cooperation with an enthusiastic cheer and by offering her
an option of cereal bowls: “Yea! Good job! Now, would
you like your crunchies in the dinosaur bowl or in the blue
cup?”
“Take-Charge” Consequence.
For serious disrespect, do a clap-
growl (to show your displeasure) and then use a time-out or give a fine.
Remember, your child is leaving
you no choice but to give a
consequence. “You are forcing me to give you a time-out.” After the
time-out,
don’t immediately talk about her defiance. Wait until later that
day to gossip about how her actions made you unhappy or role-play
about it with her dolls.
Defiant-Behavior Example:
Resisting the Car Seat
At 15 months, Henry began to squirm and fuss when
Patrice went to buckle him into the car seat. “You have to
have the harness on; it’s important to keep you safe,” his
mom would explain. But Henry just fought and wriggled.
Patrice said, “Some days, belting him in is like wrestling a
greased pig!”
Young toddlers hate being confined. They often resist getting in car
seats, sitting still on the bus, putting on party clothes,
etc. You can try to
reason
them out of their resistance, but what if your loving logic just
doesn’t work?
Tools to Prevent Car-Seat Fights
Here are a few ways to prevent car-seat conflicts before they happen:
Practice.
Put the car seat in the living room and have him sit in it
while you give him a minute of time-in (snack, read, etc.). Once he
accepts
the car seat at home, start going for very short rides (just around
the block). Reward his cooperation with a time-in. Soon your tyke will
learn that car seats are no big deal. Don’t forget to gossip about his
cooperation (to
his stuffed animals, Grandma, or anybody). Paste photos
of your child happily sitting in his car seat into a little book (“My Car
Seat” scrapbook) and view it with him at bedtime to remind him of the
fun things he does when he’s in his car seat.
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