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Behavior Challenge #4: Aggressive and/or


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The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block

Behavior Challenge #4: Aggressive and/or
Dangerous Behavior
Up until now in this chapter we’ve been talking about dealing with
yellow-light behaviors. But, this last group of parental challenges is
made up of red-light behaviors. You get to go first (“Stop now!”) when
your tot’s acts are violent or dangerous. These acts demand immediate
action. Once the behavior has stopped, then you can spend a minute
reflecting his feelings.
The kids who are most aggressive are those who:
• have spirited, high-energy temperaments
• are extra impulsive and distractible
• are under extra stress
• don’t speak well
• are bored, cooped up, lonely, or stressed
If your tot is a wild child, there’s a lot you can do to prevent his repeated
acts of aggression. As mentioned earlier, you’ll be able to dramatically
reduce the fighting and cut the number of time-outs simply by boosting
your child’s time-ins!
However, when it’s too late to prevent a problem, then it’s time for you
to jump in with some clear and consistent consequences.
Dangerous-Behavior Example: Sibling Aggression
Twins Caleb and Elijah, 24 months old, were playing
nicely at the sandbox in the park two blocks from their
apartment. Suddenly, Caleb decided he wanted the sand-


sifter Elijah was using. He reached for it, but Elijah
quickly yanked it away. In retaliation, Caleb whacked his
brother’s head with his shovel … and Elijah promptly
whacked him right back!
In a flash, their father, Alan, clapped and growled,
scooped them up, and carried them out of the park. Once
home, he immediately put them both in time-out.
Your toddler’s veneer of civilization is so thin it doesn’t take much to
propel him back to his primitive nature: hitting, poking, pinching,
whacking, biting. (More about biting in the next section.) And, having
two little cave-kids to supervise can make you feel more like a boxing
referee than a parent.


Tools to Handle Sibling Fights
Here are two straightforward ways to get control:

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