The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block 2-Book Bundle pdfdrive com

“Take-charge” consequences
Stronger penalties like time-out and giving a fine are the best way to
quickly stop red-light behaviors.
“Take-charge” consequences
Time-in
Feeding your child’s meter with a little gift of your time and attention.
Time-in
Time-out
A short period of isolation to put a halt to unacceptable behaviors.
Time-out
Toddler-ese
A special language that’s supereffective with upset toddlers, made up of
three simple steps: short phrases, lots of repetition, and mirroring a bit
of the child’s feelings to connect with her emotional sweet spot.
Toddler-ese
Win-win compromise
Too many of us try to end conflicts with “I win … you lose” solutions. A
better way to resolve disagreements (with your child or anyone else) is
to find compromises where you both get some of what you want.
Win-win compromise
Yellow-light behavior

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Annoying things your child says and does that you want to discourage.
Yellow-light behavior
“You-I” message
A valuable way of helping your child see your point of view by saying,
“When you do … I feel….”.
“You-I” message

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To all my little toddler patients, who invite me into their
prehistoric world every day!

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Acknowledgments
“The more things change, the more they remain the
same.”
—Alphonse Karr, 19th-century French journalist
Ever since I was little, I have been fascinated by trying to understand
how everything in our world … makes sense! How all of nature dances
and spins, pulls and pushes, and yet, in extraordinary and unexpected
ways, always finds its way back to a perfect harmony.
In the work I did with families for nearly thirty years, I came to
understand that toddlers also always “make sense”! They dance and spin,
pull and push, but they can quickly be led back to harmony—if you
know the path. For decades, I traveled that path every day with the
toddlers who visited me for their health care. And now, like an
adventurer just back from an unexplored land, I am very excited to share
the secrets I have discovered about toddlers with parents, grandparents,
health professionals, educators, and all others who love young children.
I have many people to thank for shining their light on my explorations
and helping me to see toddlerhood in all its funny and satisfying beauty.
My embryology professor at SUNY Buffalo, Gordon Swartz, a brawny ex-
boxer with a passion for teaching; Arthur H. Parmelee, Jr., my child
development professor at UCLA, a kind and patient man with a deep
compassion for and understanding of children; and the concise and
insightful writings of Carl Rogers, Haim Ginott, Thomas Gordon, Francis
Ilg, Louise Bates Ames, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlich, Stephanie
Marston, Hans Miller, and many others.
Thanks as well to my soul mate and treasured wife, Nina, for her
constant love and patience, and to my daughter, Lexi, for her good
nature during my long hours of distraction and absence; to my late
mother, Sophie, who many years ago taught me Alphonse Karr’s words
and thus planted the seed for one of the pivotal underpinnings of this
book; to the kindness and caring of my father, Joe, and the generous
heart of my unofficial stepmother, Celia; to the superb organizing and

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writing talents of Paula Spencer; to the illustrious imaginations of
Margeaux Lucas and C. A. Nobens; to my agent, Suzanne Gluck, who
helped keep this project moving forward; and to my always thoughtful
and honest editor, Beth Rashbaum, who endured my constant “what-ifs”
and “why nots” with considerable (and much appreciated) diplomatic
aplomb.
My appreciation also goes out to the many professionals who shared
with me their insights into how to teach parents these special
techniques, especially Kyle Pruett, Steven Shelov, Morris Green, Janet
Serwint, Martin Stein, Roni Leiderman, Jana Clay, and Christine Schoppe
Wauls.
And finally, the biggest thanks of all to the trusting parents who chose
me as their children’s doctor and allowed me to travel with them into
the exotic and extraordinary prehistoric valleys of their toddlers’ minds.
Without the help of all of you this book would not have been possible.

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