The Mountain Is You

HOW TO RESOLVE THIS
Instead of wasting all of your energy trying to control 
some worst-case scenario, consider what the message 
of the fear may be and what it is telling you that you 
need in your life.
If the fear was an abstract metaphor, what would the 
meaning be? Is the abrupt loss of income a symbol of your 
desire for security? Is the fear of the future a symbol for 
not living fully right now? Is the anxiety about making 
decisions a symbol for knowing what you really want and 
being too afraid to choose it?

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At the core of the things we most fear is a message that 
we are trying to send ourselves about what we really care 
about. If we can identify what we want to protect, we can 
find healthier and more secure ways to do it.
H O W T O T E L L I F Y O U ’ R E I N A
S E L F-S A B O TA G E C Y C L E
Even if you can cognitively understand self-sabotaging 
behaviors, sometimes the most difficult shift is recogniz-
ing that we are engaging in them. 
In fact, sometimes the signs are so subtle, they are barely 
recognizable and often don’t come to our attention until 
they become highly problematic or someone else points 
them out. Some of the most prominent symptoms of 
self-sabotage are as follows: 
YOU ARE MORE AWARE OF WHAT YOU DON’T WANT THAN 
WHAT YOU DO.
You spend more of your time worrying, ruminating, and 
focusing on what you hope doesn’t happen than you do 
imagining, strategizing, and planning for what you do.
YOU SPEND MORE TIME TRYING TO IMPRESS PEOPLE WHO 
DON’T LIKE YOU THAN YOU SPEND WITH PEOPLE WHO 
LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. 

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You are more focused on growing into the kind of per-
son who evokes the envy of your supposed enemies rather 
than the kind of person who is beloved by their family and 
friends and prioritizes them no matter what.
YOU’RE PUT TING YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND. 
You don’t know basic facts about your life, like how 
much debt you have or what other people in your field 
are being paid for similar work. When you get into an 
argument, you run away until you forget rather than 
talking about what’s wrong and coming up with a solu-
tion. In other words, you are in denial, and so any hope 
of healing is futile.
YOU CARE MORE ABOUT CONVINCING OTHER PEOPLE 
YOU’RE OKAY THAN ACTUALLY BEING OKAY.
You’d rather post photos that make it look like you had a 
great time than being concerned about whether you actu-
ally had a good time. You put more effort toward trying 
to convince everyone you’re doing well rather than being 
honest and connecting with people who could help or 
support you.
YOUR MAIN PRIORIT Y IN LIFE IS TO BE LIKED, EVEN IF 
THAT COMES AT THE EXPENSE OF BEING HAPPY.
You think more about whether or not your actions will 
earn you the approval of “people” (who are “people,” by the 

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way?) rather than whether or not they will actually make 
you feel fulfilled and content with who you are.
YOU’RE MORE AFRAID OF YOUR FEELINGS THAN ANY THING 
ELSE.
If you get to the point in life at which the scariest, most 
detrimental thing you face is the fear of whether or not 
you will be able to handle your own emotions, you are the 
one standing in your own way—nothing else is.
YOU’RE BLINDLY CHASING GOALS WITHOUT ASKING 
YOURSELF WHY YOU WANT THOSE THINGS.
If you are doing “everything you are supposed to be doing” 
and yet you feel empty and depressed at the end of the day, 
the issue is probably that you’re not really doing what you 
want to be doing; you’ve just adopted someone else’s script 
for happiness.
YOU’RE TREATING YOUR COPING MECHANISMS AS THE 
PROBLEM.
Instead of trying to incite war on yourself to overcome 
your overeating, spending, drinking, sexing—whatever 
it is you know you need to improve—ask yourself what 
emotional need that thing is filling. Until you do, you will 
battle it forever.
YOU VALUE YOUR DOUBT MORE THAN YOUR POTENTIAL.

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Negativity bias makes us believe that “bad” things are 
more real than good, and unless we keep that inclination 
in check, it can leave us believing that everything we fear 
to be true is more real than the good things that are ac-
tually true. 
YOU ARE TRYING TO CARE ABOUT EVERY THING.
Your willpower is a limited resource. You only have so 
much in a day. Rather than using it to try to become good 
at everything, decide what matters most to you. Focus 
your attention on that, and let everything else slip away.
YOU ARE WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO OPEN A DOOR, 
OFFER APPROVAL, OR HAND YOU THE LIFE YOU HAVE 
BEEN WAITING FOR.
We grow up with the illusion that success is what’s handed 
to people who are most deserving, talented, or privileged. 
When we arrive, however, we realize it is constructed by 
those who find an intersection of their interests, passions, 
skills, and a market gap. Sprinkle on a little bit of per-
sistence, and the only way to fail is to give up.
YOU DON’T REALIZE HOW FAR YOU’VE COME.
You are not the person you were five years ago. You evolve 
as your self-image does, so make sure that it’s an accurate 
one. Give yourself credit for everything you’ve overcome 
that you never thought you would, and everything you’ve 

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built that you never thought you could. You’ve come so 
much farther than you think, and you’re so much closer 
than you realize.
I D E N T I F Y I N G Y O U R S U B C O N S C I O U S 
C O M M I T M E N T S