Travor noah snake story

part of the show? Please welcome The 
King Cobra." The final performer comes 
out with a cobra. Puts the snake down. 
Lifts the lid, snake comes out. And I don't 
know what it was about this snake. But 
you could feel the energy change, like. 
They were all snakes, but this snake 
looked mean. You know? Like it, it looked 
like it hated life. There was something 
about it. Like it. This snake looked like it 
had a mortgage. Because it looked at us, 
and hen fixed its eyes on the charmer. 
And he, he was really cool and calm. He 
didn't even look at the snake. He 

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addressed us. He was like "Ladies and 
gentlemen. They say the cobra can strike 
faster than the man can blink. But can a 
man move faster than the snake can 
think?" And I'm like oooh... "I don't know 
what that means, but I'm in." Because it 
sounds like a dumb Instagram quote, but 
I'm in. And this guy had the most amazing 
trick. What he did was he got right up 
close to the snake, alright. and he put his 
hands behind his back. And then, he 
would make it seem like he was going to 
kiss the snake. And the snake will be no 
further than like a foot from his face. And 
then he would make this sound like a 
kissing sound. As he made the sound, the 
snake would try to bite him, and he'd 
moved away. I've never seen anything 

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like it. But he leaned in and he's like, 
"Come on snake." "Too slow snakey. Try 
again. No love for you my friend. Come 
on Snakey." And all of us, all of us are 
enthralled. Every single one of us. No 
one's making a sound, no one's moving. 
And he does it over and over again. And 
then, to take it to the next level, he closes 
his eyes, pouts his lips, and I guess at this 
point, the snake was probably like, "Oh I 
think I figured this out. This dude's going 
to make the sound and then he's going to 
move. But if I bite before the sound, I can 
change everyone's lives." Because that's 
exactly what the snake does. The guy 
closes his eyes, pouts his lips. Before he 
can make the sound, the snake strikes 
him. Pa! Bam! Hits him on the mouth. 

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Right? Cuts his lip open, blood goes 
spraying everywhere. Now that should be 
the end of the story, the craziest part of 
the story. No, this is the middle. The 
snake hits him on the mouth. The blood 
goes spraying. This guy jumps back, and 
then acts like he didn't just get bitten by a 
snake. Which makes us think we're crazy, 
because we all saw it. Everyone in the 
audience was like "haaw." And then he 
jumps back, and he goes, he just shakes it 
off. You know what he did? He did that 
thing, you know that that thing that 
people do when they get their hand 
jammed into a car door or something? 
Like you know, like it slammed, and 
there's a "clack". And people will just be 
like mmm... He did that, but with a snake. 

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So the snake hits him, the blood sprays, 
and he jumps back and he's like mmm... 
"Don't worry. We're fine. Don't worry. 
Don't worry. Everybody, we're fine. Relax, 
relax, we are fine. We are fin." But we 
weren't fine. You know how we know 
this? Because his face started melting on 
the one side. Right? So his face starts 
melting, his lips start turning blue and he 
goes back to do his kiss trick again, but he 
can't even stand and he looks at the 
snake. The snake looks at him, and he's 
like "Okay, show is done. Goodnight 
everybody. Goodbye. "Goodnight." He 
runs off. And all of us now, all of us are 
just like, "What the hell just happened?" 
Right. He runs off. I have questions in my 
head. Like is he going to be okay? Do we 

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get our money back? How does this 
work? And then we turn back and we 
realize. He's forgotten his snake. And you 
know what the worst thing was? Is it 
seemed like the snake realized the same 
thing at the same time. Because the 
snake also watched him leave and then as 
we turned back, the snake was also like, 
"Oh shit." And so now, it's just us, and the 
snake. And mind you, there's no, there's 
no barrier, right. There's no concrete. 
There's no glass. There's nothing. It's an 
authentic Balinese experience. So we're 
all staring at the snake. The snake is 
staring at us. And then, one genius 
decided now would be the perfect time 
to get an Instagram picture. And I don't 
know if it was the camera, the sound, or 

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the flash. All I heard was "click," and the 
snake jumped up and was like, "hiss." And 
we were all like... "Arghhhh." And then it 
was chaos. Pandemonium ensued. Now 
don't forget, I was at the back. So I just 
jumped. I was like, "Ha-ha, being black 
saved me!" I was out. Panic ensued. 
Everyone jumps up, people are trying to 
scramble like trampling over each other. 
The French guy was my favorite, because 
he jumps up, and he was like, "Sacre 
bleu!" Le serpent, le serpent! "Allez, Jean-
Pierre, allez." And he's pushing the 
people and running. "Allez! Jean-Pierre. 
Jean-Pierre." And when he turns, his son 
hasn't moved, right? So little Jean-Pierre 
is planted to the spot, terrified. And you 
see his face, he's like, "Papa! Papa! 

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Papa!" He was like, "Jean-Pierre! Allez 
Jean-Pierre. Allez mon ami." Papa! Papa! 
And so the dad realizes he's got to go 
back in and save his kid. Right? But now 
this is one of those moments where I 
think you can see the fundamental 
difference between mothers and fathers. 
Right? Because a mother, a mother would 
run in without thinking, and she would be 
like, "I will die for my child. Strike me 
now, snake." Right, that's moms. Dads 
will save their kid, but in the back of their 
head, you know the dad is thinking, "You 
know I'm going to save my kid. But I don't 
want to die. I mean-- I don't want to die 
because this dumb ass didn't know to run 
when his dad was running. I mean, 
there's a snake and I start running, why 

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wouldn't you run at the same time? Now 
I've got to die for your dumb ass, which 
makes no sense, because I can make 
another one of you, you can't make 
another one of me. I should just make 
you a brother and we can mourn your 
dumb ass death together. I don't even 
know why we're doing this right now." I 
think that's what the dad was thinking. 
Right? Because he didn't fully commit. 
Instead, he tried to sneak in behind his 
kid. And then he grabs the back of his 
hoodie and yanks him to safety. So now 
little Jean-Pierre's choking on the ground. 
Papa! Papa! And he finally gets him to the 
side. Another snake charmer comes 
running out, grabs the snake, puts it in 
the sack, and finally danger is averted. 

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Everybody's safe. Everyone is safe but 
terrified. Some people are crying, others 
are in shock. I'm standing on the side, 
watching all of this. Little Jean-Pierre is 
with his dad, they both in tears. "Desolé 
mon ami. Desolé Jean-Pierre" Papa! And I 
don't speak French, but I know this kid 
was like, "You asshole, you left me. I'm 
going to tell Mom." And so I'm, I'm 
staring at them, and I guess they could 
feel that I was staring. So they, they both 
stopped at the same time. And they 
turned and looked at me and I looked at 
them. And in that moment, in that 
moment I realized we're all human 
beings. We all experienced the same 
thing, we went through the same trauma. 
No matter what happened to us before, 

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we are all human beings. Because they 
looked at me, and I could see in their eyes 
what they'd just experienced, what I 
experienced. And in that pause I bent 
down, and I got real close to them and I 
was like, "Snake." 
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