You taking steps back and forth again and again

Be prepared to read a lot. It is time to stop this kind of torture. It can’t be last any longer.

To begin with, I am so exhausted of you taking steps back and forth again and again every 2-3 weeks (or days). I feel like you are playing with me and my feelings.

Step forth

That’s done! You are mine forever! We will get married! You will move to UK. Everything will be sorted. |I am fine know everything is fine now| Now I fully trust you








Your cycle that breaks my heart



Step back

-Share screen I will feel better (it means you still don’t trust me)
-I feel unloved. I will let you go.
And other kind of shit like that.




It’s not a secret that we have chosen the most complicated way of being together. Even though I warned you about all the obstacles and circumstances you convinced me that you understood and said “everything is possible if you are willing for it” so I believed you. When we had problems with mistrust you were blaming that I caused that by my cold behavior. I did not believe first but then I started thinking, analyzing our relationships, watching videos on YouTube, reading info on Google. I made some conclusions:
-LDRs are hard. Most of couples break up because of distance and only few of them survive and overcome all obstacles and have happy marriage for the rest of their life because they already passed their most complicated test called “LDRs”. Only mentally strong, wise individuals and strong feelings in relationships can pass that exam and get their reward as happy family.
-If there are any doubts, fears, issues everything must be discussed. Communication is the key! People must find compromise, talk to each other politely, carefully with no blames! Nothing can be solved with accusations!
-Being in relationships is growing as people and as partners as well. We must grow together. Growing means being able to admit your mistakes, improve yourself, work on your mistakes and some negative treats that’s what I did. I processed all my mistakes and changed myself completely for you, for our relationships, for my babies.

I improved myself dramatically! I became warmer, politer, kinder, more attentive to you. I started to show you my feelings even more, I opened my gate and demonstrated you my inner child, my soul therefore I became more emotional and sensitive with you. I did that to show you that I am ready to be better, I understand my faults and no one is perfect. However, what did I get in return from you? “do you have second boyfriend that’s why you feel better and changed?”,” where is catch?”, “give me your telegram I will feel better” and finally that shitty message “I will let you go” on my BirthDay! You couldn’t even wait at least one day to give that piece of shit after my birthday. I changed myself significantly I became much better for you and you sent me that shitty “let you go”????????!!!!! On my birthday!!!! Do you think I need your permission to go? I can go at any time anywhere and …. I will!

Instead of having discussion, reaching compromise, being wise and process your words and behavior you just left that shitty text! What do you want from me? I became sweeter, warmer WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED??? We had online session to satisfy your needs even though I was tired I did it for you and after a few hours you texted me “I feel unloved”. What the hell??!!! Are you serious??? I changed myself and satisfied your needs yesterday that’s why you feel unloved???? Or it’s because I refused to give you access to my telegram? I did that coz you still have mistrust issues but you don’t want to admit it and solve.
You don’t know what you want! I see nothing is good and enough for you!