Breaking News!

Breaking News!
A shocking new story just emerged of a girl named Laura B Brown floating into the abyss of outer space. Brown is in 8th grade at Maple Heights Middle School. She is white, 5’ 2”, and has brown hair and blue eyes. She and her parents are from Silverfort, CO USA. From what we know so far from her parents, the girl reportedly ate so much fattening and junk foods such as pizza, desserts, chips, cookies, and candy that she bloated and proceeded to float into outer space. Who would have thought that a girl could eat so much she could float? We interviewed the girl’s parents, and this is what they shared. When we met with Laura’s mother, she could barely speak because she was sobbing and traumatized by her daughter’s situation.…show more content…
Laura was very determined. So, she would beg the lunch lady for these foods every day, until the lunch lady gave in.” We also spoke with Laura’s doctor who kept playing with his face while he was talking to us. He said: “I can remember the parents being worried as I delivered them the damaging news. I looked down at my feet as I gently said to them: Mr. and Mrs. Brown, I am saddened to tell you this, your child is overweight. If she eats any more pizza, ice cream, potato chips, or anything like that, she may bloat and float away.’ They thought I was joking. I guess now they should acknowledge that I was serious. I mean, I am a doctor.” He was then called away to be with a patient. Laura’s parents still had more to say. “We tried one last time to convince her that her unhealthy eating was damaging. We had hoped to no avail that maybe if the doctor told her, she would listen. Instead, we sat her down and made a covenant that she would stop eating unhealthily and we would help her. We asked her why she continued this behavior and were told junk food tasted better than healthy food. She said she did not want to be teased or laughed at by her friends for eating…