13 Things Mentally Strong People Don\'t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success pdfdrive com

THE FIVE STAGES OF CHANGE

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1. Precontemplation—When people are precontemplative, they don’t yet
identify any need to change. Richard was precontemplative about making
any changes to his health for years. He avoided going to the doctor, he
refused to step on a scale, and he dismissed any comments his wife made
when she expressed concern about his health.
2. Contemplation—People who are actively contemplative are considering the
pros and cons of making a change. When I first saw Richard, he was
contemplative. He was aware that not changing his eating habits could have
serious consequences, but he was also not yet certain how to go about
creating change.
3. Preparation—This is the stage where people prepare to make a change.
They establish a plan with concrete steps that identify what they are going to
do differently. Once Richard moved into the preparation stage, he scheduled
days to work out and chose one snack to swap for something healthier.
4. Action—This is where the concrete behavioral change takes place. Richard
started going to the gym and swapped his afternoon cookies for carrots.
5. Maintenance—This often overlooked step is essential. Richard needed to
plan ahead so he could maintain his lifestyle changes when he faced
obstacles, like holidays or vacations.
FEAR
When I met Andrew, he was stuck in a low-paying job that didn’t challenge him.
He had a college degree—and the student loans to prove it—but he was working
in a field that didn’t use any of his skills. There was little opportunity for
advancement.
A few months prior to our first session, he’d gotten into a car accident. Not
only was his car totaled, but he’d racked up some hefty medical bills. He was
underinsured in terms of both his health and his vehicle, and he was
experiencing serious financial problems.
Despite feeling a lot of stress about his financial situation, Andrew was afraid

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to apply for new jobs. He worried that he might not like a different job, and he
lacked confidence in his skills. He also dreaded the thought of getting used to a
new office, a new boss, and different coworkers.
I helped Andrew examine the pros and cons of a job change. Once Andrew
developed a budget, he was able to examine the facts of the situation. Staying at
his current job would make it impossible to pay for his bills each month. Even
without a single unexpected expense, he would be at least $200 shy of paying his
bills. Facing this reality gave Andrew the motivation he needed to begin
applying for new jobs. The fear of not being able to pay his bills had to outweigh
the fear of getting a new job that paid better.
Just like Andrew, many people worry that doing something different may
make things even worse. Maybe you don’t like the house you’re living in, but
you worry that a new home could have even bigger problems. Or maybe you
worry about ending a relationship because you are afraid you won’t ever find
anyone better. So you convince yourself to keep things the same, even if you’re
not happy.