13 Things Mentally Strong People Don\'t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success pdfdrive com

GREEN WITH ENVY
While jealousy can be described as “I want what you have,” resentment over
someone’s success goes further: “I want what you have and I don’t want you to
have it.” Fleeting and occasional jealousy is normal. But resentment is
unhealthy. Do any of these statements sound familiar?
You often compare your wealth, status, and appearance to the people around
you.
You feel envious of people who can afford nicer possessions than you can.
It’s difficult for you to listen to other people share their success stories.
You think you deserve more recognition for your accomplishments than you
actually receive.
You worry that other people perceive you as a loser.
It sometimes feels like no matter how hard you try, everyone else seems to
be more successful.
You feel disgust, rather than joy, toward people who are able to achieve their
dreams.
It’s hard to be around people who make more money than you do.
You feel embarrassed by your lack of success.
You sometimes imply to others that you’re doing better than you actually

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are.
You secretly experience joy when a successful person encounters misfortune.
If you feel resentment over someone else’s accomplishments, it’s likely based
on irrational thinking and can cause you to begin behaving in an illogical
manner. Take steps to focus on your own path to success without resenting
anyone else’s prosperity.
WHY WE RESENT OTHER PEOPLE’S
SUCCESS
Although feelings of resentment are similar to those of anger, when someone
feels angry, they are more likely to express themselves. Resentment, however,
usually remains hidden, and people like Dan mask their true feelings with
feigned kindness. Yet beneath the smile is a seething mixture of indignation and
envy.
Dan’s resentment stemmed from a sense of injustice. Sometimes an injustice
is real, and at other times, it’s imagined. Dan felt it wasn’t fair that his neighbors
were making a lot of money. He was fixated on the fact that they had more
money and nicer possessions than he could afford. He blamed his neighbors for
making him feel poor, but had he lived in a less affluent neighborhood, he may
have felt rich.
Resentment of others’ success is also a result of deep-rooted insecurities. It’s
hard to be happy about a friend’s accomplishments when you feel bad about
yourself. When you’re insecure, someone else’s success will seem to magnify
your shortcomings. You might also become bitter when you wrongfully assume
that good fortune comes more easily to others when you’re the more deserving
one.
It’s easy to resent what others have when you don’t even know what you want
yourself. Someone who never wanted a job that requires travel may look at a
friend who goes on international business trips and think, She’s so lucky. I want
to do that. Meanwhile, he may also covet the lifestyle of another friend who

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operates a home-based business that prevents him from traveling and think, I
wish I could do that, even though these two lifestyles are conflicting. You can’t
have everything you want.
When you overlook the fact that most people only reach their goals by
investing time, money, and effort to get there, it’s more likely that you’ll resent
their achievements. It’s easy to look at a professional athlete and say, “I wish I
could do that.” But do you really? Do you wish you got up and worked out
twelve hours a day? Do you really wish your entire income rested solely upon
your athletic abilities that will decline as you age? Do you really wish you could
give up eating the foods you love so you can stay in shape? Do you really wish
you could give up spending time with friends and family to keep practicing your
game year-round?
THE PROBLEM WITH RESENTING OTHER
PEOPLE’S SUCCESS
Dan’s resentment toward his neighbors affected almost every area of his life—
his career, his spending habits, and even his relationship with his wife. It
consumed him to the point that it interfered with his mood and prevented him
from enjoying social gatherings in the neighborhood. And he was setting himself
up for a vicious cycle—the more effort he put into trying to compete with his
neighbors’ success, the more resentment he felt toward them.
YOUR VIEW OF OTHER PEOPLE ISN’T ACCURATE
You never actually know what goes on behind closed doors. Dan had no idea
what type of problems his neighbors may have actually been experiencing. But
he resented them based on what he saw.
Feelings of resentment can crop up based on a stereotype alone. Perhaps you
believe “rich” people are evil or maybe you think “business owners” are greedy.
Those types of stereotypes can lead you to resent someone without even
knowing them.

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A 2013 study titled “Their Pain, Our Pleasure: Stereotype Content and
Schadenfreude” revealed that people not only resented “a rich professional’s”
success, but participants went so far as to take joy in that person’s misfortune.
Researchers showed participants photographs of four different people—an
elderly person, a student, a drug addict, and a rich professional. They studied