A prep course for the month-long World Cup soccer tournament, a worldwide pheno

ild applause . ) Answers : 1 ) Reverend . Whether they 're priests , rabbis , mi

nisters or monks , they 're all `` reverend '' ( deserving reverence ) on gradua

tion day . Calling them `` reverent , '' would mean that they themselves are fil

led with reverence , which they probably are . But on this occasion , they 're t

he ones being revered . 2 ) Lectern . A lectern is a stand that supports a speak

er 's notes or books . A podium is the elevated platform on which a speaker stan

ds . While , through common use ( it gets scuffed a lot ) , `` podium '' has acq

uired a secondary meaning of `` lectern , '' elevated grammarians regard such us

age as base . 3 ) Ceremonial . As long as we 're standing on a podium , let 's s

tand on ceremony . `` Ceremonial '' refers to anything associated with a ceremon

y , as in `` ceremonial offering . '' `` Ceremonious , '' which almost always re

fers to people or behavior , means `` unusually formal or meticulous in manner ,

 '' and bears a negative connotation of being a fussy and ritualistic . 4 ) Luxu

riant . Strictly , `` luxuriant '' means lush or abundant ( `` a luxuriant beard

 '' ) , while `` luxurious '' means full of luxury or sumptuous ( `` a luxurious

 penthouse '' ) . It 's worth noting that respectable writers have often luxuria

ted in the pleasure of using these words interchangeably . Theodore Dreiser wrot

e of `` luxuriant restaurants , '' for instance , while Henry David Thoreau desc

ribed `` luxurious misty timber , '' which is where our erstwhile graduation spe

aker probably hit his first tee shot . 5 ) Wild applause .

 It 's too costly , too important , too tiring , too silly , too long or too sho

rt . It 's the American Booksellers Association 's annual convention and trade e

xhibit , scheduled this weekend in Los Angeles . Though retailers and publishers

 differ on the value of spending each Memorial Day weekend talking up fall title

s , and dashing from luncheons to seminars to nightly parties , the expected att

endance shows that `` The ABA '' remains a seasonal rite that book-industry play

ers are loath to ignore . An estimated 1,600 publishers and other exhibitors wil

l display their products in the Los Angeles Convention Center , covering 322,000

 square feet , or 20 percent more space than was reserved by companies at last y

ear 's show in Miami Beach . And 30,000 people are expected to pass through , wh

ich would make this the second-best-attended convention since the one held in 19

91 in New York City . The drill hasn't changed : The publishers plan to romance 

the booksellers and try to whip up interest in new goods , and the booksellers w

ill revel in the attention as they consider the size of their orders . `` The bi

g publishing houses , with their sales reps around the country , are so self-ass

ured that they 're there for the exercise , '' said Bernie Rath , executive dire

ctor of the American Booksellers Association , whose 4,500 members consist mainl

y of independently owned businesses . `` But the medium- and smaller-sized publi

shers that have no sales force on the road rely on the convention to meet the bu

yer . '' Michelle Sidrane , president of the Crown Publishing Group , one of the

 major-league publishing companies , said she hopes to detour booksellers off th

e busy convention floor to quieter meeting rooms in order to present special pro

motions involving fall books . Crown 's list includes titles by Larry King , Joh

n Denver , Dave Barry and Martha Stewart . In addition to these brand names , Si

drane said , the publisher hopes to kindle enthusiasm for Judith Rossner 's `` O

livia '' and two other novels whose film rights have already been bought by Holl

ywood Nina Vida 's `` Goodbye , Saigon '' and Mark Olshaker 's `` The Edge . '' 

On the festive side , Crown will present Barry in a night of standup comedy at T

he Improv and Audrey Meadows at a party designed to showcase her fall memoir , `

` Love , Alice : My Life as a Honeymooner . '' ( Begin optional trim ) Suppliers

 of CD-ROMs and other electronic media will occupy about 10,000 square feet at t

he convention center vivid evidence that these companies want bookstores to offe

r their products along with the latest John Grisham thriller . `` We very much b

elieve that the most convenient site for the perusal of electronic media is the 

bookstore , '' said Morton E. David , chairman of Franklin Electronic Publishers

 Inc. , an exhibitor based in Mount Holly , N.J. . `` Booksellers , by and large

 , if they take a pass on offering some kind of electronic media , are going to 

regret it four or five years down the road . '' Franklin , which employs 200 peo

ple and posted $ 66 million in sales last year , will be showing off various ele

ctronic books , including its $ 99 Spanish Master , a pocket-sized bilingual dic

tionary that can speak 250,000 words in English and Spanish by using voice-synth

esized technology . ( End optional trim ) While this weekend 's ABA offers no st

ar-powered extravaganza like the Putnam Publishing Group 's blast last year for 

Ann-Margret ( `` My Story '' ) or Alfred A . Knopf 's lavish do for Oprah Winfre

y ( who ended up scuttling the autobiography she planned to deliver ) , New York

 publishers have planned an array of parties to promote their books . Scribners 

has arranged a tea for Barbara Bush , whose autobiography will be published in S

eptember ; W.W. Norton & Co. will celebrate the release of Walter Mosley 's new 

`` Black Betty , '' another of his Easy Rawlins capers set in Los Angeles , with

 soul sounds at the Biltmore Hotel ; Warner Books ' invitation to the St. James 

Club urges folks `` to Get Down with Your Bad Self and Berry Gordy , '' the main

stay of Motown Records , whose autobiography , `` To Be Loved , '' is scheduled 

for October . The list of RSVPs to Buzz 's ABA party at House of Blues shows tha

t the reach of the upstart L.A. magazine extends to many top executives in New Y

ork publishing . This especially pleases Eden Collinsworth , a former New York b

ook publisher who is now president and chief executive officer of Buzz . Asked w

hether the home of television and Hollywood is a suitable venue for purveyors of

 the printed word , Collinsworth said , `` I certainly brought to L.A. a condesc

ending , East Coast attitude toward the city . But in the five years I 've been 

here , it 's certainly been made clear to me that this is a far more confident a

nd cosmopolitan area than many back east assume . ''

 LONDON Damien Hirst is London 's leading chain-saw artist . He hacks dead lives

tock in half . He split-cut a cow and a calf lengthwise and displayed them in hu

ge , sealed cases of formaldehyde at the 1993 Venice Biennale , like .. . well .

. . like sides of beef in a butcher shop . The Venice Biennale is , of course , 

one of the world 's most prestigious art events . He sawed a pig 's head in half

 for this month 's British edition of Esquire . The artist is shown with his cha

in saw . We see the chain saw in action . Close-up photos of the halves of the s

plit pig 's head are printed as the magazine 's centerfold , inside-out , as it 

were , very red against a flesh-toned background . No airbrush has edited out of

fensive parts to protect the squeamish as the old Playboy used to do . He 's rou

tinely called the `` enfant terrible '' of the British art world , the artist mo

st talked about , doing the most striking work . He 's 28 and from Leeds , the o

ld Yorkshire city , where he saw his first preserved specimens in a mortuary whe

n he was a schoolboy . `` I was just really kind of fascinated by them , '' he s

ays . He first floated into national notoriety two years ago with a toothy , 14-

foot tiger shark , immersed in its own preservative tank of formaldehyde . He ca

lled the piece `` The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Liv

ing . '' He likes an expressive title . The shark appeared at the very trendy Sa

atchi Gallery and launched him into instant tabloid fame . His shark has been ca

lled the most caricatured work of art since Whistler 's Mother . His latest anim

al act is a lamb , all woolly and cuddly-looking , floating in a white-framed ta

nk of faintly greenish-tinted formaldehyde . It 's in a show that opened this mo

nth at the Serpentine Gallery . Hirst is curator , and he has chosen 15 artists 

who share his interests : `` fear , loss , hope , death , fantasy , '' the press

 release says . The work he 's chosen includes eerie and exquisite photos , by H

iroshi Sugimoto , of the serial killers in Madame Tussaud 's waxworks ; a flayed

 , anatomical figure called Virgin Mary , sculpted in wax by Kiki Smith ; an ora

nge , fiberglass cast of Rodin 's Balzac by Michael Joaquin Grey , hung upside-d

own from the ceiling ; a bicycle packed with plastics and bags by Andreas Slomin

ksi , leaning against the gallery wall as if abandoned by a homeless pilgrim . T

he show is called `` Some Ran Away .. . Some Went Mad . '' Hirst calls his prese

rved lamb `` Away From the Flock . '' `` It 's just like a shepherd 's thing , '

' he says at the opening . He 's leaning against a doorjamb , a polite , easygoi

ng , round-faced guy in a baseball hat , white T-shirt , jacket and jeans . `` T

here 's an allegory that has to do with people and sheep , '' he says . `` It 's

 like : ` You 're just like sheep , you do what everyone else does . ' I do what

 I do , and it 's different . `` So you 're away from the flock in that way . Bu

t then I kind of see it so tragic and dead and kind of cute , and looking out at

 the green grass , which I quite think is good . '' The lamb gazes out of its fo

rmaldehyde tank onto the greensward of Kensington Gardens . The galley is by the

 Serpentine , the lake that winds between Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park . Not

 everybody likes it , he says . Londoners are more used to lamb on a menu than i

n a museum , eating dead meat rather than looking at it . `` I 've heard a lot o

f people say it 's terrible , '' he says. ` ` ` Why do you do that to a lamb ? O

h my God. ' ' ' ( Begin optional trim ) One free-lance art critic went from word

s to action , pouring ink into the tank of formaldehyde one recent evening . `` 

It went completely black , '' a gallery visitor told Dalya Alberge of The Indepe

ndent . `` You could see the sheep disappear . There were a lot of visitors ther

e . Everyone was bewildered and highly amused . People were laughing . '' Hirst 

, who already had sold the piece for $ 37,500 , spent the night draining and rin

sing the animal in an attempt to wash out the ink . He had no immediate comment 

. He has said his work `` has just got to get people involved . The worst thing 

is if someone just walks in and out without seeing anything . '' He thinks that 

in a way he 's immortalized his lamb . `` You know it was already dead when I fo

und it , '' he says . `` I found it in a knacker 's yard , where animals go when

 they die . I resurrected it into this situation . It would have been dog food .

 So I kind of saved it from that , in a way . And I quite like that . It 's trag

ic , but cute . '' And despite an undeniable macabre element to his work , he 's

 not interested in similarly preserving a human being . `` Not really , '' he sa

ys . `` I don't think you get metaphor with people . It 's too direct . You get 

metaphor with animals , but you don't with people . '' ( End optional trim ) His

 work will last , he thinks . `` I 've seen pieces that are 200 years old , '' h

e says . `` As long as they don't get out of the liquid , they 'll stay like tha

t . '' Which is a good thing , because from here , the show goes to Finland , Ge

rmany and Chicago . The Serpentine show , incidentally , is sponsored by Haagen-

Dazs . The company passed out chocolate-covered ice cream on a stick .

 A panic attack consists of spontaneous jolts of intense fear or discomfort acco

mpanied by at least four of the following symptoms : Shortness of breath or smot

hering sensations . Dizziness , unsteady feelings or faintness . Accelerated hea

rt rate or palpitations . Trembling or shaking . Sweating . Choking . Nausea or 

abdominal pain . Depersonalization the feeling you 're removed from your own exp

erience . Numbness or tingling sensations . Hot or cold flashes . Fear of dying 

. Fear of going crazy or losing control . Source : American Psychiatric Associat

ion

 Michael Artinian 's ear infections began within weeks of his birth . Every few 

weeks , says his mother , Chris , the baby would fret and fuss with the pain of 

a new infection . His pediatrician tried antibiotics for months . The milder one

s did nothing and infections even flared up when Michael was taking the stronges

t antibiotics . Finally , when Michael was 8 months old , the doctor suggested a

 surgical procedure called a tympanostomy in which ear tubes are inserted to dra

in fluid from the middle ear and clear up infection . The Artinians agreed . Par

ents often wonder if they are doing the right thing by choosing surgery to heal 

chronic ear infections , which generally occur as a result of a cold , sore thro

at or other respiratory infection . Their doubts stem from disagreements in the 

medical community about whether the procedure is overdone . `` It 's never easy 

to put your child through surgery , '' says Artinian . `` But , as a parent , yo

u have to get hooked up with the right doctor a doctor you are in sync with . ''

 But now parents may have more to rely on than just their doctors . An article i

n last month 's Journal of the American Medical Association suggested a set of g

uidelines for tympanostomy ( while noting that as many as one-fourth of all ear-

tube surgeries now performed may be unnecessary ) . And , this summer , the fede

ral Agency for Health Care Policy and Research will release guidelines for docto

rs and parents on the treatment of childhood middle ear infection , or otitis me

dia . Otitis media is the most common reason for doctor visits in children under

 6 , accounting for about 30 million visits a year . Yet there are no clear-cut 

guidelines to help doctors and parents know which of several treatment options a

ntibiotics , surgery to insert ear tubes or doing nothing work best and with the

 least risk to the child . `` The reason we suggest certain disorders for the gu

idelines is that there is substantial variation in care , '' says Rose Findley ,

 an agency spokeswoman . `` One doctor treats it one way and across town there i

s a completely different type of treatment pattern . There isn't much consensus 

. And , ( the nation ) is spending a lot of money on it , but we don't know what

 the best or most appropriate treatment might be . '' The guidelines are highly 

anticipated , not only because of the magnitude of the problem but because of th

e contentiousness that has arisen among doctors on how to treat otitis media . T

he experts who contributed to the new federal report , joked one doctor , `` wil

l then enter the government 's Witness Protection Program . '' `` I think there 

is a fair amount of data , but I think it 's confusing and difficult to synthesi

ze , '' says Dr. Lawrence C. Kleinman , a Harvard physician and author of the JA

MA report . In that study , a panel of doctors reviewed research on tympanostomi

es to develop criteria on when the surgery should be considered . Using the pane

l 's criteria , the study found that of the 670,000 tympanostomies performed eac

h year , 41 percent were appropriate , 32 percent had equivocal indications and 

27 percent were found to be inappropriate . An appropriate reason to choose surg

ery , the article states , would be for a child who has fluid trapped in the mid

dle ear behind the eardrum ( called otitis media with effusion ) that does not c

lear up despite treatment with antibiotics . The tiny tube inserted in the eardr

um during surgery allows the fluid to drain and restores a child 's hearing , wh

ich can be muffled when fluid has collected . The tubes remain in the ear for se

veral months to a year and fall out on their own . Surgery is considered inappro

priate , for example , if a child had fewer than four ear infections a year or h

ad not been treated sufficiently with antibiotics . But , Kleinman says , it is 

impossible to predict how any individual child will fare . ( Optional add end ) 

The guidelines might divert surgeries that take place out of frustration , Klein

man adds . Recurrent ear infections can cause misery for families , causing the 

child a lot of discomfort and parents many sleepless nights . Moreover , doctors

 and parents worry about the small chance that ear infections will cause hearing

 loss and speech delay . `` Sometimes the level of frustration with ear infectio

ns can lead to hasty actions that are not well considered , '' Kleinman says . N

o guidelines should revoke the right of doctors and parents to individualize the

ir decisions , says Dr. David Bergman , a Stanford University physician who work

ed on the federal guidelines . `` The bottom line , to me , is that you have to 

take each case individually and not use expert consensus as a way of driving you

r decision one way or another , '' he says .

 It 's an old story television 's ultimate blacklisting or brownlisting . Black 

sitcoms appear indelibly affixed to prime time , yet getting a family drama abou

t blacks , or Asian-Americans or Latinos , on the air remains the hardest of har

d sells . Take the case of current prime-time ratings champ CBS . It has vowed t

o widen its audience beyond Norman Rockwell folk to include more of the nation '

s urban young , but in picking new series to open the 1994-95 season , the netwo

rk omitted the worthy `` Under One Roof , '' a weekly drama that was developed b

y its own production arm and may lack only one prerequisite for prime time . Whi

teness . `` We haven't passed on it , '' said CBS spokeswoman Susan Tick . `` I 

'm very pessimistic , '' said executive producer Thomas Carter ( `` Equal Justic

e '' ) . Television 's minstrels appear in multiple shades , and Fox 's new fall

 lineup includes an action show , `` M.A.N.T.I.S. , '' whose hero is black . Whe

n it comes to drama , however , TV seeks to seduce a rainbow of Americans with m

ostly a single color . Implicit here is that most programmers are ethnocentric ,

 believing that non-whites will be riveted to whites in non-comedic situations ,

 but not vice versa . Black families have been nearly invisible in family drama 

, a situation `` Under One Roof '' could help remedy . Its protagonists are the 

Langstons , a middle-of-the-middle-class black family living in Seattle . No dru

gs , no violence , no gangs , not even an absentee father . No major dysfunction

 , just a highly appealing family . Although not faultless , the pilot for `` Un

der One Roof '' ripples with more promise than 90 percent of what presently pass

es for drama in prime time . Its humor is unforced , its conflicts between gener

ations are genuine , and its interesting , endearing characters relate in ways t

hat likely would earn them the empathy of real-life families . Plus , the cast i

s first-rate . Joe Morton is Ron Langston , a former career military man trying 

his hand at business . Vanessa Bell Calloway is his wife , Maggie , who resumed 

school to get a nursing degree . James Earl Jones is Ron 's father , Neb , a cop

 who lives downstairs with a street youth he and his late wife took in . Joe and

 Maggie have two kids of their own , and Ron 's younger sister is also part of t

his likable extended brood . Written by Martha Williamson , Michael Henry Brown 

and Paul Aaron ( the latter two wrote HBO 's `` Laurel Avenue '' ) , the pilot '

s teleplay has an edge while also projecting the kind of warmth and even teary p

oignancy that usually has network programmers bawling all the way to the bank . 

If ever a contemporary black family drama was going to make the schedule in the 

'90s , you 'd think this would be it . `` Under One Roof '' is not only absent f

rom the fall lineup , however , it also received no backup order from CBS , said

 Carter , making it questionable even for mid-season emergence . But CBS has not

 written all of its 1994- '95 backup orders , and `` Under One Roof '' could sti

ll get one , spokeswoman Tick said . `` It 's still in play here , '' she said .

 `` I think their first concern is about the characters being black , '' said Ca

rter , who directed the pilot . `` I think they 're also concerned that this is 

a very honest show . They 're a slave to gimmicks . We would have had a better c

hance to get it on the air if we had a tragedy that brings the family together .

 '' Carter said it was CBS Entertainment President Peter Tortorici who ( when st

ill the division 's No. 2 executive ) approached him about doing a `` black show

 he would have accepted a comedy with a strong male figure '' for CBS Production

s . Carter said when `` Under One Roof '' was screened for CBS executives in Los

 Angeles , `` they loved it and thought the show was a slam dunk . '' But when t

he pilot was viewed by network management in New York , he said , the attitude c

hanged and `` everything went askew . '' Equally askew is an industry that rarel

y finds room for blacks who live in the real world and don't speak the language 

of one-liners . -0- FOOD FOR THOUGHT : `` Mmmm , I love garlic , '' Katie Couric

 said last Wednesday morning , starting a cooking segment for NBC 's traveling `

` Today '' program at a Boston seafood restaurant . For Couric and `` Today , ''

 the grotesquely sadistic act that followed was just a big laugher . Inadvertent

ly , though , they provided an educational service by erasing the abstraction an

d graphically showing the process by which some of the animals we eat arrive on 

our plate . The fare was lobster . No , not a lobster boiled alive in a pot of w

ater , but something even yummier and rather more exotic . After heating the gar

lic in a pan and adding some crushed red pepper , the chef picked up the entree