A thousand Boy Kisses

sure he could have handled everything you went through from what his mamma
has said…
Closing my eyes, I vowed to leave him alone. I wouldn’t be a burden to him.
I’d protect him from the pain.
Because I still loved him as much as I always had.
Even if the boy I loved no longer loved me back.

---

Poppy

I flexed one hand, balancing my cello and bow with the other. Every now and
again, my fingers grew numb and I had to wait to be able to play again. But as
Michael Brown finished up his violin solo, I knew nothing would deter me from
sitting center stage tonight. I would play my piece. And I’d savor every second
of creating the music I loved so much.
Michael drew back his bow, and the audience burst into rapturous applause. He
took a quick bow and exited on the other side of the stage.
The emcee grabbed the mic and announced my name. When the audience heard
I was making my long-overdue return, their clapping grew louder, welcoming
me back to the musical fold.
My heart raced in excitement at the whistles and support from parents and
friends in the auditorium. As many of my peers from the orchestra came to the
wings to pat me on the back and wish me words of encouragement, I had to
chase back a lump in my throat.

---

Straightening my shoulders, I forced back the overwhelming onslaught of
emotion. I tipped my head to the audience as I walked to take my seat. The
spotlight above rained bright light on me.
I positioned myself perfectly, waiting until the clapping died down. As always,
I glanced up and found my family sitting proudly in the third row. My mama and
daddy were smiling widely. Both sisters gave me little waves.
Smiling back to show them I had seen them, I fought against the slight pain
that fluttered in my chest as I spotted Mr. and Mrs. Kristiansen sitting alongside
them, Alton waving at me too.
The only person missing was Rune.
I hadn’t performed in two years. And before that, he never missed one of my
recitals. Even if he had to travel, he was at every single one, camera in hand,
smiling his crooked half-smile when our eyes connected in the dark.
Clearing my throat, I closed my eyes as I placed my fingers on the neck of the
cello and brought the bow to the string. I counted to four in my head and began
the challenging Prelude from Bach’s Cello Suites. It was one of my favorite
pieces to play—the intricacy of the melody, the fast pace of the bow work and
the perfect tenor sound that echoed around the auditorium.
Each time I sat on this seat, I let the music flow through my veins. I let the
melody pour from my heart, and I imagined sitting center stage at Carnegie Hall
—my ultimate dream. I imagined the audience sitting before me: people who,
like me, lived for the sound of a single perfect note, who thrilled to be carried
away on a journey of sound. They felt the music in their hearts and its magic in
their souls.
My body swayed to the rhythm, at the change in tempo and the final crescendo
… but best of all, I forgot the numbness in my fingertips. For a brief moment, I
forgot it all.
As the final note rang in the air, I lifted my bow from the vibrating string and,
tipping my head back, slowly opened my eyes. I blinked against the bright light,
a smile pulling on my lips in the solace of that silent moment when the note

---

faded to nothing, before the applause of the audience began. That sweet, sweet
moment when the adrenalin of the music made you feel so alive you felt you
could conquer the world, that you had achieved serenity in its purest form.
And then, the applause began, breaking the spell. Lowering my head, I smiled
as I rose from the seat, bowing my head in thanks.
As I gripped the neck of my cello, my eyes automatically searched for my
family. Then my eyes traveled along the cheering patrons, and skirted along the
back wall. At first, I didn’t realize what I was seeing. But as my heart slammed
against my chest, my eyes were drawn to the very left of the far wall. I caught
sight of long blond hair disappearing through the exit door … a tall, toned boy
dressed all in black, vanishing from sight. But not before he glanced over his
shoulder one last time, and I caught a glimpse of crystal-blue eyes…
My lips parted in shock, but before I could be sure what I was witnessing, the
boy was gone, leaving behind a slowly closing door.