After (The After Series)

Why am I even here? Noah is back in my room waiting for me, and here I am
wasting even more time on Hardin. “I should go.” I stand up and head for the
back door.
“Don’t go,” his voice says softly. And my feet stop in their tracks at the

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pleading tone. I turn around to find Hardin less than a foot from me.
“Why not? Do you have more insults to throw in my face?” I shout and turn
away. His hand wraps around my arm and jerks me back.
“Don’t turn your back on me!” he shouts even louder than I did.
“I should have turned my back on you a long time ago!” I scream and push
against his chest. “I don’t know why I am even here! I came all the way here the
second Landon called me! I left my boyfriend—who, like you said, is the only
one who can stand to be around me—to come here for you! You know what?
You’re right, Hardin, I am pathetic. I am pathetic for coming here, I am pathetic
for even trying—”
But I’m cut off by his lips against mine. I push at his chest to stop him, but he
doesn’t budge. Every part of me wants to kiss him back, but I stop myself. I feel
his tongue trying to pry its way in between my lips and his strong arms wrap
around me, pulling me closer to him despite my attempts to push away. It’s no
use; he is stronger than me.
“Kiss me, Tessa,” he says against my lips.
I shake my head and he grunts in frustration. “Please, just kiss me. I need you”
His words unravel me. This indecent, drunken, terrible man just said he needs
me, and somehow it sounds like poetry to my ears. Hardin is like a drug; each
time I take the tiniest bit of him, I crave more and more. He consumes my
thoughts and invades my dreams.
The second my lips part, his mouth is on mine again, but this time I don’t
resist. I can’t. I know this isn’t the answer to my problems and that I’m just
digging myself deeper, but that doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is his
words, and how he said them: I need you.
Could Hardin possibly need me the way I desperately need him? I doubt it,
but for right now I want to pretend that he does. He brings one of his hands to
cup my cheek and he runs his tongue along my bottom lip. I shudder and he
smiles, his lip ring tickling the corner of my mouth. I hear a rustling noise and
pull away. He lets me stop the kiss, but he keeps his arms wrapped tightly
around me, his body pressed against mine. I look toward the back door and pray
that Landon didn’t witness my terrible lapse of judgment. I don’t see him, thank
God.
“Hardin, I really have to go. We can’t keep doing this; it’s not good for either
of us,” I tell him and look down.
“Yes, we can,” he says and lifts my chin up, forcing me to look into his green
eyes.
“No, we can’t. You hate me, and I don’t want to be your punching bag
anymore. You confuse me. One minute you’re telling me how much you can’t

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stand me or humiliating me after my most intimate experience.” He opens his
mouth to interrupt me and I put my finger against his pink lips and continue.
“Then the next minute you’re kissing me and telling me you need me. I don’t
like who I am when I’m with you, and I hate the way I feel after you say terrible
things to me.”
“Who are you when you are with me?” His green eyes study my face, waiting
for my reply.
“Someone I don’t want to be, someone who cheats on their boyfriend and
cries constantly,” I explain.
“You know who I think you are when you’re with me?” He runs his thumb
along my jawline, and I try to stay focused.
“Who?”
“Yourself. I think this is the real you and that you’re just too busy caring what
everyone else thinks about you to realize it.”
I don’t know what I think about this, but he sounds so honest, so sure of his
answer that I take a second to really think about his words. “And I know what I
did to you after I fingered you.” He notices my scowl and continues. “Sorry . . .
after our experience, I know it was wrong. I felt terrible after you got out of my
car.”
“I doubt that,” I snap, remembering how much I cried that night.
“It’s true, I swear it. I know you think I’m a bad person . . . but you make me
—” He draws up short. “Never mind.”