After (The After Series)

Happy? Love? I choke on my breath and break into a heap of coughs; the cool
water in my glass slides down my throat, calming it, and I look back at them.
They think Hardin is in love with me? It would be incredibly rude to laugh at
them, but he obviously doesn’t know his son.
Before I can respond, Hardin returns and I thank the heavens that I didn’t have
to respond to their sweet, but false, assumptions. Hardin doesn’t sit down, but
rather stands behind me with his hands on the back of the chair.
“We really should get going. I have to take Tessa back to the dorms,” he says.
“Oh, don’t be silly. You two should stay tonight. It’s storming outside and we
have plenty of room. Right, Ken?”
Hardin’s father nods. “Of course, you’re both welcome to stay.”
Hardin looks at me. I want to stay. To extend my time with Hardin in what
feels like a world away from the world, especially when he is in such a good
mood.
“I don’t mind,” I answer. But I don’t want to upset him by wanting to stay
here any longer. His eyes are unreadable, but he doesn’t seem to be angry.
“Great! Then it’s settled. I’ll show Tessa to a room . . . unless you’ll be staying
with Hardin in his?” she asks. There is no judgment behind her voice, only
kindness.
“No, I’d like my own room, please. If that’s okay?”
Hardin glares at me.
So he wanted me in his room with him? The thought excites me, but I don’t
feel comfortable with them knowing Hardin and I are at that point yet. My
snarky subconscious reminds me that we aren’t dating at all, or even close to it,
so being at a “point” isn’t possible. That I have a boyfriend who is not Hardin. I
ignore her as usual and follow Karen upstairs. I wonder why she’s sending us
straight to bed, but I’m not comfortable enough to ask.
She shows me to a room directly across from Hardin’s. It isn’t quite as large,
but it’s decorated just as beautifully. The bed is a little smaller and sits on a white
frame against the wall. There are pictures of boats and anchors scattered through
the room. I thank her multiple times and she hugs me again before leaving me to
my room.
I walk around the room and find myself at the window. The backyard is much

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bigger than I had thought; I had only seen the deck and the trees on the left side.
On the right side there is a small building that looks like a greenhouse, but I
can’t tell through the heavy rain.
As I stare at the rain, my thoughts begin to run wild. Today has been the best
time I have ever had with Hardin, despite his multiple outbursts. He has held my
hand, which he never does; he put his hand on my back as we walked, and he did
his best to comfort me when I was worried about Landon. This is the furthest we
have gone in our . . . friendship, or whatever this is. That’s the confusing part: I
know we can’t and never will actually date, but maybe whatever we are doing
now will be good enough? I have never imagined being someone’s friend with
benefits, but I know I won’t be able to stay away from him. I have tried many
times now, and it never works.
A light knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts. I expect to see Karen
or Hardin, but instead I find Landon when I open the door. His hands are in his
pockets, and his handsome face holds a small, awkward smile.
“Hey,” he says and I smile.
“Hey, do you want to come in?” I ask him, and he nods.
I walk over and sit on the bed; he pulls the chair out from the small table in
the corner and takes a seat.
“I—” we both say at the same time and laugh.
“You first,” he suggests.
“Okay, I am so sorry that you found out about Hardin and me that way. I
didn’t go out there with that intention. I was just making sure he was okay; this
whole dinner with his father was really getting to him and somehow we just
ended up . . . kissing. I know how terrible it is of me, and I know I am horrible
for cheating on Noah, but I am just so confused, and I tried to stay away from
Hardin. I really did.”
“I’m not judging you, Tessa. I was just surprised to see you two making out on
the deck. I thought when I walked out I would find you yelling at each other.”
He laughs and continues. “I knew something was up with you two when you had
that fight in the middle of Literature and then when you stayed last weekend, and
then when he came back and started a fight with me. The signs were all there,
but I thought you would tell me, though I do understand why you didn’t.”
I feel a huge weight lift off my shoulders. “You’re not mad at me? Or think
any different of me?” I ask him and he shakes his head.
“No, of course not. I am worried about you and Hardin, though. I don’t want
him to hurt you, and I believe he will. I am sorry for saying that, but as your
friend I need you to know that he will.”
I want to get defensive and even angry, but part of me knows he is right. I just

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hope somehow he isn’t.
“So what are you going to do about Noah?”
I groan. “I have no idea. I am afraid that if I break up with him I will regret it,
but what I am doing to him isn’t fair. I just need a little time to decide what to
do.”
He nods.
“Landon, I’m so relieved that you aren’t mad at me. I was being a jerk earlier.
I just didn’t know what to say. I am sorry.”
“Me, too, I completely understand.” We both stand up and he hugs me. A
warm and comforting hug as the door opens.
“Um . . . am I interrupting something?” Hardin’s voice travels through the
room.
“No, come in,” I tell him and he rolls his eyes. I hope he is still in a decent
mood.
“I brought you some clothes to sleep in,” he tells me. He places a small pile on
the bed and goes to walk out.
“Thank you, but you can stay.” I don’t want him to leave.
He looks at Landon and snaps, “No, I’m good,” before leaving the room.
“He is so moody!” I whine and plop down on the bed.
Landon chuckles and sits back down. “Yeah, moody is one word for it.”
We both burst into laughter and then Landon begins to talk about Dakota and
how he can’t wait for her to come visit next weekend. I almost forgot about the
bonfire. Noah is coming. Maybe I should tell him not to. What if this change
between Hardin and me is all in my head? I feel like something has changed
between us today, and he did tell me he wants me more than he has ever wanted
anyone. But he didn’t exactly say he has feelings for me, only that he wants me.
After an hour of Landon and I talking about everything from Tolstoy to the
Seattle skyline, he tells me good night and retreats to his room, leaving me alone
to my thoughts and the sound of the rain.

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chapter fifty
I
pick up the clothes Hardin brought me to wear: one of his signature black T-
shirts, a pair of red-and-gray plaid pants, and some large black socks. I laugh at
the idea of Hardin actually wearing those, but then I realize these are likely from
the dresser of unworn clothes. I lift the shirt up and it smells like him. He has
worn this one, and recently. The smell is intoxicating, minty and indescribable,
but it is my newly acquired favorite scent in the entire world. I change into the
clothes, finding the pants much too big but very comfortable.
I lie down on the bed and pull the blanket up to my chest, my eyes fixated on
the ceiling as I relive the whole day in my mind. I feel myself drifting off to
sleep, to dream of green eyes and black T-shirts.