B a r b a r a s h e r I l L u s t r a t I o n s b y r a L p h

Annoyed with the Flower Bud
Sometimes I find I get annoyed with myself because I’m not further along
with something. Sometimes it’s my spiritual practice: I wish I’d remember
to stay present more often. Or it’s my career: I wish I would be consistently
better at what I do. Or it’s a relationship. We all have times when we get
impatient with our progress.
When I’m in that kind of mood or when I’m with teenagers who feel
discouraged about their progress, this game helps.
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Open and focused
Games for Teens
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A T E R I A L S
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I R E C T I O N S
Go up to a flowering bush with your adolescent and notice together the
various stages of flower development on one plant: the bud, the young
flower unfurling, the flower in full bloom, the bloom starting to wilt,
the flower with small seeds forming inside.
Ask your companion if it makes her want to yell at the bud and say,
“Hurry up, bud, move along! Why aren’t you in full bloom yet? Look at this
other flower; it’s way ahead of you. What’s holding you back? You’re just
wasting your time being a bud when you’re supposed to be a blooming
flower. Get on with it!”
More likely you’d think, “How fragile and beautiful you are just as you are.
Relax and take your time. You can’t help but bloom someday and then you’ll
age and make seeds for others.” Encourage your young bud to think about the
flowers when she feels that she’s not getting somewhere fast enough.
The thought of pushing the flower bud to be more than it is seems
ridiculous, and as part of nature, we need to see that we are also growing in
different aspects of our lives at our own pace. We are opening and growing
little by little and day by day.