B a r b a r a s h e r I l L u s t r a t I o n s b y r a L p h

T
Y P E S O F
A
T T E N T I O N
E
N C O U R A G E D
Open and focused
M
A T E R I A L S
Paper and pen
D
I R E C T I O N S
When your child is afraid of a situation, such as a big test or a new experi-
ence, suggest she make a list of what is scaring her. Start with the fear and
then break it down into its separate components. Under each component,
write the possible solutions that will help. Under that, write how she will
deal with that component even if all solutions fail! The following is an
example.
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Fear: I’m afraid of going on this trip to a foreign country.
⽧ Fear 1: The plane ride is so long. I’m afraid of being bored or antsy.
Possible solutions: Bring a book I’ve already started and am involved
in, the sewing project I want to finish, a computer, digital music,
video game player, or anything that is engrossing.
If all else fails: Remember that the plane ride will end, and it’s only a
few hours in my life.
⽧ Fear 2: I don’t speak the language, and I’ll get lost.
Possible solutions: Bring a dictionary and write out and practice key
phrases ahead of time, such as “Hello,” “Good-bye,” and “Where is
the bathroom?” Have the hotel or host write out the address of
where you are staying in the local language so that you can show it
to cab drivers or others.
If all else fails: Remember the kindness of strangers.
⽧ Fear 3: I’ll miss my family and friends and be lonely.
Possible solutions: Bring Internet addresses and phone numbers.
Modify my perspective so that instead of loneliness, I’ll appreciate
solitude or being an interested observer. Sit in the park or at a café
and watch others. Go to a museum and enjoy the fact that I can see
whatever exhibits interest me without considering others’ needs. Be
open to making a new friend. Write about my feelings in a journal.
If all else fails: Remember that no one dies from short-term loneliness.
⽧ Fear 4: I’ll hate it and want to go home.
Possible solutions: Take a short trip to somewhere else that I may like
better. Get a calendar to mark off the days I have left, but on each
day write down something good that happened.
If all else fails: Go home. Set aside extra money for this in case there is
a fee for changing the ticket.