Dark Psychology: The Practical Uses and Best Defenses of Psychological Warfare in Everyday Life How to Detect and Defend Against Manipulation, Deception, Dark Persuasion, and Covert nlp

REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY
“Sometimes, I push you away
…because I secretly hope that you would pull me closer.”
Unknown
 
Reverse psychology is a more refined form of manipulation.
Technically, it is defined as a technique involving the assertion of a
belief or behavior that is opposite to the one desired with the
expectation that this approach would encourage the subject of the
persuasion to do what is actually desired. The major difference
between reverse psychology and manipulation is that the person
who is being manipulated is given an illusion of choice. They are
made to believe that they are actually making a choice to do what
they want but in reality, they have been subtly coerced into doing
exactly what the manipulator wants. Pretty neat when you think
about the thought process that goes into pulling this off until you find
yourself in the same shoes as the victim.
Reverse psychology is a technique usually employed by
parents in raising their children. It works well on kids who are
considered "resistant" to authority. On the surface, this appears
innocent with no obvious harm to the child or their psyche, but it has
also been known to backfire. In our day to day activities, we use
reverse psychology in our relations with others and it is not always
born from malicious intent. Let me give an example using a wedding
planner and his client.
Say this client is very set on the choices of color that they
want to use on their wedding day. Nothing wrong with that except
that the colors in question come across as complete garish and
outlandish especially when compared with the exotic venue for the
wedding and the prestigious guests invited. Obviously, the wedding
planner cannot tell the client their color choices are too trashy.
Instead what he does is agree with the client and then politely tell of
a story that hints of a very important guest [who has also been
invited for this wedding] trashed a previous event because of a

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similar color but then quickly adds that he is sure they can pull it off
somehow. This gives the client and pause. They rethink their choices
and voila, the planner gets what he wants in the first place.
Marketers employ this technique in selling their products to
consumers as well. They agree with their consumer market on
certain decisions and in acknowledging their agreement, they are
able to convince their customers to buy into their services. But
parents and business owners are not the only ones guilty of using
reverse psychology. We use this technique in dating as well. Most
relationship experts would tell you that we are conditioned to want
what we can’t have. So, to make a person like you more or want you
more, you make yourself unavailable to them. It is a paradox really.
As with every form of reverse psychology, it can also backfire.
Playing hard to get can appeal to the hunting instincts of a man but
unless you plan on being elusive forever, you are going to have to
stop “running”. When you stop, the hunter recedes and then you
have a stalemate.

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