After (The After Series)

would he care if I trusted him?
“Can we just agree to either stay away from each other, or be friends? I don’t
have it in me to keep fighting with you.” I sigh, and he moves a little closer.
He takes a deep breath before he speaks. “I don’t want to stay away from
you.”
What? My heart beats out of my chest.
“I mean . . . I don’t think we can stay away from each other, with one of my
best friends being your roommate and all. So I suppose we should try to be
friends.”
Disappointment bubbles up from nowhere, but this is what I want, right? I
can’t keep kissing Hardin and cheating on Noah.
“Okay, so friends?” I say, pushing down this feeling.
“Friends,” he agrees and reaches out his hand for me to shake.
“Not friends with benefits,” I remind him as I shake, only to feel the blood
rush to my cheeks.
He chuckles and moves his hand to play with his eyebrow ring. “What makes
you say that?”
“Like you don’t know. Steph already told me.”
“What, about me and her?”
“You and her, and you and every other girl.” I try to fake a laugh but it comes
out as a cough, so I cough a little more to try to cover.
He raises his eyebrow at me but I ignore him. “Well, me and Steph . . . that
was fun.” He smiles as if remembering something and I swallow the bile rising
in the back of my throat.
“And yeah, I have girls that I fuck. But why would that concern you, friend?”
He’s so nonchalant about the whole thing, but I’m in shock. Hearing him
admit to sleeping with other girls shouldn’t bother me but it does. He isn’t mine:
Noah is. Noah is. Noah is, I remind myself.
“It doesn’t. I just don’t want you to think that I will be one of those girls.”

---

“Aww . . . are you jealous, Theresa?” he mocks me, and I shove him. There is
no way in hell I will ever admit that.
“No, absolutely not. I feel sorry for the girls.”
He raises his eyebrows playfully. “Oh, you shouldn’t. They enjoy it, trust me.”
“Okay, okay. I get it. Can we please just change the subject?” I sigh and lift
my head back to look at the sky. I need to clear the image of Hardin and his
harem out of my mind. “So, will you try to be nicer to me?”
“Sure. Will you try not to be so uptight and bitchy all the time?”
Looking at the clouds, I dreamily say, “I’m not bitchy; you’re just obnoxious.”
I look at him and start laughing; fortunately he joins in. It’s a nice change
from screaming at each other. I know we haven’t really resolved the big issue
here, which is the feelings that I may or may not have for him, but if I can just
get him to stop kissing me, I can focus back on Noah and stop this terrible cycle
before it gets worse.
“Look at us, two friends.” His accent is so cute when he isn’t being rude.
Hell, even then it is, but when his voice is soft his accent makes it so much
softer, like velvet. The way words roll off his tongue and through his pink
lips . . . I can’t think about his lips. I tear my eyes away from his face and stand
up, wiping my skirt off.
“That skirt really is dreadful, Tess. If we’re going to be friends you need to not
wear that anymore.”
For a second I’m hurt, but when I look up at him, he’s smiling. This must be
the way he jokes; still rude, but I’ll take this over his usual pure malice.
My phone alarm vibrates. “I need to get back and study,” I tell him.
“You set an alarm to study?”
“I set an alarm for a lot of things; it’s just something I do.” I hope he just lets
this topic go.
“Well, set an alarm for us to do something fun tomorrow after class,” he says.
Who is this and where is the real Hardin?
“I don’t think my idea of fun is the same as yours.” I can’t even imagine what
“fun” is to Hardin.
“Well, we’ll only sacrifice a few cats, burn down only a few buildings . . .”
I can’t stop the giggle from escaping and he smiles back.
“Really, though, you could use some fun, and since we are new friends, we
should do something fun.”
I need a few moments to contemplate whether I should be alone with Hardin
before I answer him. But before I can answer, he turns to walk away. “Good, I’m
glad you’re aboard. See you tomorrow.”
And he’s gone.

---

I don’t say anything; I just sit back down on the curb. My head is spinning
from the last twenty minutes. First, he basically offered me sex, telling me I have
no idea how good he could make me feel; then, a few minutes later, he was
agreeing to try to be nice to me; then we were laughing and joking and it was
nice. There are still so many questions I have about him, but I think I can be
friends with Hardin, like Steph is. Okay, not like Steph is, but like Nate or one of
their other friends who hang out with him.
This is really the best thing. No more kissing, no more sexual advances from
him. Just friends.
But as I walk back to my room, past all the other kids going about without any
knowledge of Hardin or his ways, I can’t quite manage to shake the fear that I
just walked into another one of his traps.

---

chapter twenty-four
I
try to study when I get back to my room but can’t seem to focus. After staring
at my notes for a couple of hours but not having really read anything, I decide a
shower might help. When they’re crowded, the coed bathrooms still make me
uncomfortable, but no one ever messes with me, so I’m getting used to them.
The hot water feels amazing and loosens up my tense muscles. I should be
relieved and happy that Hardin and I have reached some sort of truce, but now
anger and annoyance have been replaced by nervousness and confusion. I’ve
agreed to spend time with Hardin tomorrow, doing something “fun,” and I am
terrified. I just hope it goes well; I don’t expect to become best friends with him,
but I need us to get to a place where we don’t scream at each other every time
we talk.
The shower feels so good I stay in there for a while, and when I get back to
my room, Steph’s already come and left. I find a note from her saying Tristan is
taking her off campus for dinner. I like Tristan; he seems really nice despite his
overuse of eyeliner. If Steph and Tristan continue to see each other then maybe
when Noah comes to visit we could all go do something together. Who am I
kidding? Noah wouldn’t want to hang out with people like them, but I’m aware
enough to admit that up until three weeks ago I never would have, either.
I end up calling Noah before bed; we haven’t talked all day. He’s so polite, he
asks about my day as soon as he picks up. I tell him it was good; I should tell
him that Hardin and I are going to hang out tomorrow, but I don’t. He tells me
that his soccer team beat Seattle High by a landslide, even though Seattle’s really

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good. And I’m happy for him, because he seems really happy to have played so
well.
THE NEXT DAY GOES BY
way too fast. Landon and I walk into Literature
class, and Hardin is already in his seat. “Are you ready for our date tonight?” he
asks and my mouth falls open. Landon’s does, too. I don’t know what I feel more
conflicted about: Hardin saying it like that, or how it will affect how Landon
sees me. Day one of our quest to become friends is not going well so far.
“It’s not a date,” I say to him, then turn to Landon and roll my eyes and
nonchalantly say, “We’re hanging out as friends,” while ignoring Hardin.
“Same thing,” Hardin replies.
I avoid him for the rest of the class . . . which is easy since he doesn’t really
try to talk to me after that.
After class, as Landon starts putting his stuff into his backpack, he looks at
Hardin, then quietly says to me, “Be careful tonight.”
“Oh, we’re just trying to get along since my roommate is his good friend,” I
reply, hoping Hardin doesn’t hear me.
“I know, you’re really a great friend. I’m just not sure Hardin deserves your
kindness,” he says, purposefully loud, and I look up at him.
“Don’t you have something else to do besides bad-mouth me? Get lost, man,”
Hardin snaps from behind me.
Landon frowns and looks at me again. “Just remember what I said.” He walks
away, and I worry about how much I’ve maybe upset him.
“Hey, you don’t have to be cruel to him—you guys are practically brothers,” I
say.
Hardin’s eyes go wide. “What did you just say?” he growls.
“You know, your dad and his mom?” Was Landon lying? Or was I not
supposed to mention this. Landon said not to bring up Hardin’s relationship with
his dad, but I didn’t think he meant the whole thing.
“That is none of your business.” Hardin looks angrily at the door where
Landon disappeared. “I don’t know why the asshole even told you that. I’m
going to have to shut him up, it seems.”
“You leave him alone, Hardin. He didn’t even want to tell me, but I got it out
of him.” The idea of Hardin hurting Landon makes me sick. I need to change the
subject. “So where are we going today?” I ask, and he glares at me.
“We aren’t going anywhere; this was a bad idea,” he snaps, turns on his heels,
and walks away. I stand there for a minute, waiting to see if Hardin changes his
mind and will come back.

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