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Bog'liq
Ugly-Love

I don’t care.
“Just say it,” I tell him.
“Ox,” he says, with slight hesitation.
I smile. I love the word ox. It’s my new favorite word.
“You’re so weird,” he says, amused.
I uncross my legs. He notices. “So, Miles,” I say. “Let me see if I’ve
got this straight. You haven’t had sex in six years. You haven’t had a
girlfriend in six years. You haven’t kissed a girl in eight hours. You don’t
like relationships, obviously. Or love. But you’re a guy. Guys have
needs.”
He’s watching me, still amused. “Go on,” he says with that
unintentionally sexy smirk.
“You don’t want to be attracted to me, but you are. You want to have
sex with me, but you don’t want to date me. You also don’t want to love
me. You also don’t want me to want to love you.”


I’m still amusing him. He’s still smiling. “I didn’t realize I was so
transparent.”
You’re not, Miles. Believe me.
“If we do this, I think we should take it slow,” I say teasingly. “I don’t
want to pressure you into anything you aren’t ready for. You’re
practically a virgin.”
He loses his smile and takes three deliberately slow steps toward me.
I stop smiling, because he is seriously intimidating. When he reaches
me, he places his hands on either side of me, then leans in close to my
neck. “It’s been six years, Tate. Believe me when I tell you . . . I’m
ready.”
Those all just became my new favorite words, too. Believe and me and
when and I and tell and you and I’m and ready.
Favorites. All of them.
He pulls back and can more than likely tell I’m not breathing at the
moment. He steps back to his spot opposite from me. He’s shaking his
head like he can’t believe what just happened. “I can’t believe I just
asked you for sex. What kind of guy does that?”
I swallow. “Pretty much all of them.”
He laughs, but I can tell he feels guilty. Maybe he’s afraid I can’t
handle this. He might be right, but I’m not about to let him know that.
If he thinks I can’t handle this, he’ll retract everything he’s saying. If he
retracts everything he’s saying, that means I don’t get to experience
another kiss like the one he gave me earlier.
I’d agree to anything if it means I get to be kissed by him again.
Especially if it means I get to experience more than just his kiss.
Simply thinking about it makes my throat dry. I pick up my glass and
take another slow sip of my juice while I silently work this out in my
head.


He wants me for sex.
I kind of miss sex. It’s been a while.
I know I’m definitely attracted to him and can’t think of anyone else
in my life I’d rather have casual, meaningless sex with than my airline
pilot, laundry-folding neighbor.
I set the cup of juice back down, then press my palms into the
counter and lean slightly forward. “Listen to me, Miles. You’re single.
I’m single. You work way too much, and I’m focused on my career in an
almost unhealthy way. Even if we wanted a relationship out of this, it
would never work. Our lives wouldn’t fit one. We also aren’t really
friends, so we don’t have to worry about our friendship being ruined.
You want to have sex with me? I’ll totally let you. A lot.”
He’s watching my mouth like all my words just became his new
favorite words. “A lot?” he asks.
I nod. “Yes. A lot.”
He looks me in the eyes with a challenging stare. “Okay,” he says,
almost like it’s a dare.
“Okay.”
We’re still several feet apart. I just told this guy I would have sex with
him without any expectations, and he’s still way over there, and I’m way
over here, and it’s becoming clear that I definitely had him pegged
wrong. He’s more nervous than I am. Although I think our nerves stem
from two different places. He’s nervous because he doesn’t want this to
turn into anything.

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