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Finish Give Yourself the Gift of Done

The Head and the Heart
I’ve read more books about goals than I’ve accomplished actual goals. That’s
probably a sign of something. Something not good.
The problem with a lot of the books is that they only deal with the head.
They tell you mechanical things you should do and treat you like an unfeeling


They tell you mechanical things you should do and treat you like an unfeeling
robot who will march through each goal with efficiency and practicality. They
don’t take into account the secret rules we’re harboring in our hearts, rules that
our brains have often never consciously evaluated.
They don’t take into account that you’ve convinced yourself that being in
shape is slutty.
That’s an absolutely crazy rule, but welcome to the heart side of things,
where we often accept damaging judgments because of our past.
Rob O’Neill manages tens of millions of dollars for Viacom, but didn’t think
he was allowed to own a comfortable suitcase.
That’s an absolutely crazy rule, but welcome to the heart side of things,
where perfectionism tricks us into making life hard for ourselves.
For years, my kids begged me to write them a story, but I thought I couldn’t
write a story unless I illustrated it as well.
That’s an absolutely crazy rule. You know what I’m not? An illustrator, and
I never finished. Welcome to the heart side of things, where our perfectionism
keeps us from blessing people we love.
Our heads are often not aware of our heart’s secret rules, rules that
perfectionism has etched into us. If we don’t examine ourselves mindfully and
gently, we may think that our failures to meet our goals are due to our laziness or
bad strategy, when in reality they are caused by the secret rules that make our
finishes impossible.
Is it a coincidence that “cuckoo” is another word for “crazy”? Probably not.
These rules sound insane, and they will drive you insane if you don’t deal with
them.
Kill yours today. They’re doing damage to your heart. Your goal will be a
whole lot easier if you’re not listening to secret rules. You’ll actually have room
in your life for what we’re going to gather next.
Actions:
1. Listen for a few secret rules and write them down. (This will take longer
than one sitting since you’re asking your head to Google something that
might be hidden.)
2. Write the truth next to each secret rule. To find it, ask “What does that
mean” and “Who says?”
3. Create a new rule to replace the old one.
4. Enlist a friend to help you see when you’re living by a secret rule.



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