Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis. Pdfdrive com

3 · KICK ME
Thesis. This is played by men whose social manner is equivalent to wearing a
sign that reads ‘Please Don’t Kick Me’. The temptation is almost irresistible, and
when the natural result follows, White cries piteously, ‘But the sign says “don’t
kick me”.’ Then he adds incredulously, ‘Why does this always happen to me?’
(WAHM). Clinically, the WAHM may be introjected and disguised in the
‘Psychiatry’ cliché: ‘Whenever I’m under stress, I get all shook up.’ One game
element in WAHM comes from inverse pride: ‘My misfortunes are better than
yours.’ This factor is often found in paranoids.
If the people in his environment are restrained from striking at him by
kindheartedness, ‘I’m Only Trying to Help You’, social convention or
organizational rules, his behaviour becomes more and more provocative until he
transgresses the limits and forces them to oblige. These are men who are cast
out, the jilted and the job losers.
The corresponding game among women is ‘Threadbare’. Often genteel,
they take pains to be shabby. They see to it that their earnings, for ‘good’
reasons, never rise much above the subsistence level. If they have a windfall,
there are always enterprising young men who will help them get rid of it, giving
them in return shares in a worthless business promotion or something equivalent.
Colloquially, such a woman is called ‘Mother’s Friend’, always ready to give
judicious Parental advice and living vicariously on the experience of others.
Their WAHM is a silent one, and only their demeanour of brave struggle
suggests ‘Why does this always happen to me?’
An interesting form of WAHM occurs in well-adapted people who reap
increasing rewards and successes, often beyond their own expectations. Here the
WAHM may lead to serious and constructive thinking, and to personal growth in
the best sense, if it takes the form ‘What did I really do to deserve this?’