Give and Take: a revolutionary Approach to Success pdfdrive com

fight or flight. Since burnout means we lack the energy to fight, it’s natural to
choose flight, coping by avoiding the source of stress. Burnout experts Jonathon
Halbesleben and Matthew Bowler studied professional firefighters over a two-
year period. Sure enough, when the firefighters
started to burn out
, their
performance ratings dropped. Burnout made them less concerned about
achievement and status. Consequently, they invested less effort in their work,
and their effectiveness suffered.
But surprisingly, in this study, burnout didn’t decrease effort across the
board. There was one place where firefighters actually increased their effort
when they felt burned out: helping others. When the firefighters experienced
signs of burnout, they were more likely to go out of their way to help colleagues
with heavy workloads, share new knowledge with supervisors, give advice to
newer colleagues, and even listen to colleagues’ problems. Why would burnout
increase their giving?
UCLA psychologist Shelley Taylor has discovered a stress response that
differs from fight or flight. She calls it
tend and befriend
. “One of the most
striking aspects of the human stress response is the tendency to affiliate—that is,
to come together in groups to provide and receive joint protection in threatening
times.” Taylor’s neuroscience research reveals that when we feel stressed, the
brain’s natural response is to release chemicals that drive us to bond. This is
what the firefighters did: when they started to feel exhausted, they invested their
limited energy in helping their colleagues. Intuitively, they recognized that
giving would strengthen their relationships and build support (at least from
matchers and givers). Although most givers are aware of this opportunity, it
appears that only otherish givers actually take advantage of it.
Conrey Callahan built her support network by tending and befriending under

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stress. When she was at the pinnacle of exhaustion, she started mentoring TFA
teachers and several of the younger teachers in her own school. One of the
teachers Conrey mentored was Sarah. In the course of mentoring, one of the
exercises that Conrey taught Sarah was the monster activity. Conrey had
forgotten about it, and when she reached out for help, Sarah reminded her about
it. The advice itself was helpful, but it also strengthened Conrey’s sense of
impact: she had given Sarah an activity that was a big hit with her own students.
Otherish givers build up a support network that they can access for help
when they need it. This, along with chunking giving so that it’s energizing, is
what makes otherish givers less vulnerable to burnout than selfless givers. But
how do otherish givers stack up against takers and matchers?

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