It Ends with Us

For a second I wanted to tell him it wasn’t like that—that my dad never hurts me
and that he was just trying to get me off of him. But then I realized I’d be using the
same excuses my mom uses.
I felt a little embarrassed that he knows what goes on at my house. I spent the
whole rest of the bus ride looking out the window because I didn’t know what to say
to him.
When we got home, my mom’s car was there. In the driveway, of course. Not the
garage.
That meant Atlas couldn’t come over and watch your show with me. I was
gonna tell him I would bring him blankets later, but when he got off the bus he
didn’t even tell me bye. He just started walking down the street like he was mad.

---

It’s dark now and I’m waiting on my parents to go to sleep. But in a little while
I’m gonna take him some blankets.
—Lily
Dear Ellen,
I’m in way over my head.
Do you ever do things you know are wrong, but are somehow also right? I don’t
know how to put it in simpler terms than that.
I mean, I’m only fifteen and I certainly shouldn’t have boys spending the night
in my bedroom. But if a person knows someone needs a place to stay, isn’t it that
person’s responsibility as a human to help them?
Last night after my parents went to sleep, I snuck out the back door to take Atlas
those blankets. I took a flashlight with me because it was dark. It was still snowing
really hard, so by the time I made it to that house, I was freezing. I beat on the back
door and as soon as he opened it, I pushed past him to get out of the cold.
Only . . . I didn’t get out of the cold. Somehow, it felt even colder inside that old
house. I still had my flashlight on and I shined it around the living room and
kitchen. There wasn’t anything in there, Ellen!
No couch, no chair, no mattress. I handed the blankets off to him and kept
looking around me. There was a big hole in the roof over the kitchen and wind and
snow were just pouring in. When I shined my light around the living room, I saw
his stuff in one of the corners. His backpack, plus the backpack I’d given him. There
was a little pile of other stuff I’d given him, like some of my dad’s clothes. And then
there were two towels on the floor. One I guess he laid on and one he covered up
with.
I put my hand over my mouth because I was so horrified. He’d been there living
like that for weeks!
Atlas put his hand on my back and tried to walk me back out the door. “You
shouldn’t be over here, Lily,” he said. “You could get in trouble.”
That’s when I grabbed his hand and said, “You shouldn’t be here, either.” I
started to pull him out the front door with me, but he yanked his hand back. That’s
when I said, “You can sleep on my floor tonight. I’ll keep my bedroom door locked.
You can’t sleep here, Atlas. It’s too cold and you’ll get pneumonia and die.”
He looked like he didn’t know what to do. I’m sure the thought of being caught in
my bedroom was just as scary as getting pneumonia and dying. He looked back at
his spot in the living room and then he just nodded his head once and said, “Okay.”

---

So you tell me, Ellen. Was I wrong letting him sleep in my room last night? It
doesn’t feel wrong. It felt like the right thing to do. But I sure would get in a lot of
trouble if we had been caught. He slept on the floor, so it’s not like it was anything