John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by


part of me comes up saying "Yes, I want to be of service," and then even if objections come up


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Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus

part of me comes up saying "Yes, I want to be of service," and then even if objections come up 
later in my mind, I will still fulfill her request because I have given my word. 
 
11. I will say yes to a "can you," but inside I resent her. I feel that if I say no she will throw a fit. 
I feel manipulated. When she asks "would you," I feel free to say yes or no. It is then my choice, 
and then I want to say yes. 
 
12. When a woman asks me "Would you do this?" I feel assured inside that I am going to get a 
point for this. I feel appreciated and happy to give. 


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13. When I hear a "would you" I feel I am being trusted to serve. But when I hear a "can you" or 
"could you" I hear a question behind the question. She is asking me if I can empty the trash 
when it is obvious that I could. But behind her question is the request, which she doesn't trust 
me enough to directly ask. 
 
14. When a woman asks "would you" or "will you" I feel her vulnerability. I am much more 
sensitive to her and her needs; I definitely don't want to reject her. When she says "could you" I 
am much more apt to say no because I know it is not a rejection of her. It is simply an 
impersonal statement saying I can't do it. She won't take it personally if I say no to a "Could 
you do this?" 
 
15. For me "would you" makes it personal, and I want to give, but "could you" makes it 
impersonal, and I will give if it is convenient or if I don't have anything else to do. 
 
16. When a woman says "Could you please help me?" I can feel her resentment and I will resist 
her, but if she says "Would you please help me" I can't hear any resentment, even if there is 

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