included to help you express your feelings. You may use just a few of these phrases or all of
them. Generally the most releasing expressions are: I am angry," "I am sad," I am afraid," "I am
sorry," "I want," and "I love." However, any phrases that assist you in expressing your feelings
will work. It usually takes about twenty minutes to complete a Love Letter.
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A Love Letter
Dear
Date
I am writing this letter to share my feelings with you.
1. For Anger
I don't like it...
I feel frustrated...
I am angry that...
I feel annoyed...
I want...
2. For Sadness
I feel disappointed...
I am sad that...
I feel hurt...
I wanted...
I want...
3. For Fear
I worried...
I am afraid...
I feel scared...
I do not want...
I need...
I want...
4. For Regret
I feel embarrassed...
I am sorry...
I feel ashamed...
I didn't want...
I want...
5. For Love
I love
I want...
I understand ...
I forgive...
I appreciate ...
I thank you for...
I know...
P.S. The response I would like to hear from you:
Here are some typical situations and some sample Love Letters that will help you understand
the technique.
A Love Letter About Forgetfulness
127
When Tom napped longer than he'd planned and forgot to take his daughter Hayley to the
dentist, his wife, Samantha, was furious. Instead of confronting Tom with her anger and
disapproval, however, she sat down and wrote the following Love Letter. Afterward she was
able to approach Tom in a more centered and accepting way.
Because she wrote this letter, Samantha did not feel an urge to lecture or reject her husband.
Instead of having an argument they enjoyed a loving evening. The next week Tom made sure
Hayley got to the dentist.
This is Samantha's Love Letter:
Dear Tom,
1. Anger.. I am furious that you forgot. I am angry that you overslept. I hate it when you take
naps and forget everything. I am tired of feeling responsible for everything. You expect me to
do everything. I am tired of this.
2. Sad.. I am sad that Hayley missed ber appointment. I am sad that you forgot. I am sad
because I feel like I can't rely on you. I am sad that you have to work so hard. I am sad that you
are so tired. I am sad that you have less time for me. I feel hurt when you are not excited to see
me. I feel hurt when you forget things. I feel like you don't care.
3. Fear.. I am afraid I have to do everything. I am afraid to trust you. I am afraid that you don't
care. I am afraid I will have to be responsible next time. I don't want to do everything. I need
your help. I am afraid to need you. I am afraid you will never be responsible. I am afraid you
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